Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

what are the chances he would turn on me?

when my husband is upset, he tends to be self abusive. and i mean like, when we fight, not so much when he is just mad about something.
we have been together nearly 5 years. he has never laid a hand on me.
what are the chances that his self abuse could turn into more?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Aug. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (26)
  • Not sure, but he doesnt sound healthy. I would have him look into some sort of councleing (sp?)

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 9:59 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • What do you mean by self-abusive? Maybe we could understand better.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:59 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • It is very possible , especially if he cannot take the abuse he puts on himself any longer . I think it is best that you somehow in a calm fashion bring up him going to get some help because it could not just become dangerous to your relationship but it could become hazardous to your life !

    Answer by mamahol at 9:59 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • If he has a propensity towards violence, regardless of who it's directed toward, he could easily turn on you.It sounds like he has a hard time dealing with emotionally charged situations.

    Answer by Scuba at 10:00 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • his father was abusive/hard on him growing up.

    when he is self abusive, he hurts himself. he has scars on his face from scratching himself. he rams his head into walls.

    could counseling help him?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:02 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • just off the top , I'd say get him some help ASAP before something does happen.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 10:03 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • if he is doing that stuff please call 911 when it happens. someone doing this stuff is likley to impulsively even commit suicide.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 10:06 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • suicide!?

    so, when i mention divorce and he mentions suicide he could very likely be SERIOUS!?

    how much does counseling cost? what kind does he need?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:09 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • my DH is like that too and he has never touched me before we dont argue a lot but he does the same thing your man does hurts him self i think he stop hurting him self as much when we scratched his face one day and the cops were gonna take me in but we haven't argued in a long time we lrarned to sit down cool of then talk if we still dont agree we give each other space then try again

    Answer by cnoble927 at 10:21 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I'd be concerned that if he was feeling desperate enough he could harm you (or worse) and then harm himself. Sounds the murder/suicide type to me. This just happened last week to a neighbor's daughter. Her 21 yr old daughters boyfriend cut her throat, killed her two dogs and then shot himself later at a gun range where he rented a gun.

    Answer by Syphon at 10:22 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.