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How does one go about finding their biological parents?

My husband was adopted when he was just days old. He grew up in a vrey loving home but his parents died when he was 17 years old. my husband and his older sister (who was also adopted) have no clue about their biological parents or where they came from. The only family my husband has left are his sister, a niece, a nephew and his Aunt (which has been like a second mother to him). His Aunt just recently discovered that she has lung cancer in both lungs and liver cancer that cannot be treated. Hubby has said before that he has no interest in finding his biological parents but I have questions about health issues and would like to inquire about them. Even if it is only for medical reasons. I would never want to push him into meeting with them if he doesn't want to. Am I wrong for wanting him to find answers? How would he even get started when he doesn't know anything?? Can anyone help?

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Asked by DreamComeTrue08 at 10:20 PM on Oct. 8, 2008 in Adoption

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Answers (7)
  • You're not wrong for wanting to find them...but I would wait til hubby agrees.


    Answer by FlyMom07 at 10:33 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I would contact OPRAH!!!! Just kidding. I would definitly wait until your DH is ready (if ever) before trying to locate them. I think if you know the adoption place where he was adopted from than you can start there. Or if you have money get a private detective.

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 10:57 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • All he needs to know, really, is the birth date and hospital. But, if he doesn't want to know then don't push him.

    I'm also adopted and don't really want to pursue my biological parents. I have told my doctors that my family history begins with ME.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:20 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I am an adoptee who began searching for medical info and background for my daughter. There was NO way that any one or anything would prevent me from obtaining MY info that would (perhaps) help diagnosis and treat and cure my daughters illness. She shouldn't have to die - just because I was adopted. Even our US Surgeon General has come up with an initiatives for people to collect and know their medical is important!

     I would not search without the adoptees desire and approval. If he has no need to know- imagine how difficult it would be to the Natural parent to be contacted by a spouse, and be told you JUST want info.........and then, disappear again. They are not just file cabinets filled with answers......



    Answer by adopteeme at 5:25 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • "The law must be consonant with life. It cannot and should not ignore broad historical currents of history. Mankind is possessed of no greater urge than to try to understand the age-old question: "Who am I?" "Why am I?" Even now the sands and ashes of continents are being sifted to find where we made our first step as man. Religions of mankind often include ancestor worship in one way or another. For many the future is blind without a sight of the past. Those emotions and anxieties that generate our thirst to know the past are not superficial and whimsical. They are real and they are "good cause" under the law of man and God."

    Judge Wade S. Weatherford, Jr.

    Seventh Judicial Circuit Court, South Carolina

    Ruling on an adoptee's petition to gain access to adoption records.

    Answer by adopteeme at 5:27 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I wouldnt search for them unless he brought it up. I found my birth parents but my brother who is also adopted has no desire to find his what so ever. I've never even told my brother I found mine because he is so touchy about it. Having grown up without any medical history that hurt, but only when asked by a doctor. Otherwise, I would go with what medical history you have from your side.

    Answer by pinkcalla721 at 11:51 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • try contacting the Locator... that new tv show.... i dunno if anything will come of it.. but they seem to be rreally geared towards helping people find lost loved ones

    Answer by momsamillion at 10:47 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

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