Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

My Son called me a horrible name

he has autism and anger mgt issues and in a rage called me a Stupid B**** cuz I called him out on something I knew he was lying to me about.

I know he wasn't in his right mind and I should blow it off, but this isn't the 1st time he's done it and dang it...it hurts... this isn't my sweet little boy anymore. Always uptight and angry.

Anyways I feel like I really lost alot of interest in him or anything he wants to do. I know thats a bad thing to feel, but a person can only take so much verbal abuse. In addition, I get no breaks from him for very long, except when I go work out, my DH watches him before he goes to work, then its just me and DS (11) allll day long.

Am I wrong to feel this way?

 
Zoeyis

Asked by Zoeyis at 11:06 AM on Aug. 23, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I'm in your boat. Its just me and my 9 yr old son with autism all day. So far we haven't had any swearing outbursts,but i feel your pain and frustration.You're not wrong for feeling this way. A person can only take so much before they crack.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:12 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I have mixed feelings on this. My dd has autism and I dont let her get away with much. She is NOT dumb and can LEARN correct behavior. So that being said: if she said that to me I would treat her the same as I would her brother and she would have serious consequences.

    But you KNOW your son and his limits and capabilities. Maybe he is not capable of handling his words, your his mom so you know the answer to that.

    And it is true that lots of kids at some point "typical or not" call their parents names.

    I think you have to make the call on this one b/c you know how your sons autism affects his behavior better than anyone. Just remember to not use the autism as an excuse for bad behavior that needs consequence.

    Does that make any sense....lol. Feel like I was rambling back and forth. LOL
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 11:15 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Honestly, even if he didn't have those problems... you'd probably still at one point be called a bitch (even if it's not to your face) by your son. It does hurt to get called names. Maybe sit down and talk to him about how it hurt your feelings. It's better to talk about it if it's bothering you.
    Mom2unangel

    Answer by Mom2unangel at 11:08 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Have you considered getting respite care?? You're not wrong to feel that way just don't go too long with it. In all honesty it's probably a bit of hormones. From what I've heard in my Autism support group, it's going to get worse before it gets better. But definitely apply for respite care services so you can get a break. I've got three boys on the spectrum so I do know where you are coming from. He still needs you though so you both need to try and work through it even if you have to bring in a behavioral therapist.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 11:15 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Although he has limitations, he should be reminded of what is right and wrong. This was wrong! You should pull him to the side and say that this will not be tolerated and he should know better (depending on his condition and severity). You need to sit down and let him know how you feel and that other family and persons should not be subject to these outbursts. I'm sure all the time together adds to your stress level but either way, he's your child and have to try your best to control him and maintain some sanity. Crazy world we live in, huh! Your patience will be rewarded soon! Good luck!
    NikkiVan1

    Answer by NikkiVan1 at 11:57 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • My son called me a b**** to my face when he was 15. I slapped him. Now I am not advocating abusing your son but I couldnt help it. I will not tolerate that kind of talk. Needless to say he is 17 now and quite respectful. He turned out to be a good kid!
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 12:09 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Have you thought about putting him in counseling? He may need to learn how to use his anger in a different way.. maybe he is angry about things that he can not / doesn't trust you to talk about so when he becomes angry he lashes out instead of behaing in a proper way. Just a thought.
    BobbieJo286

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 12:22 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I was also going to suggest looking in to respite care. Some areas offer it at a lower cost and it includes a social skills lesson.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 1:04 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • ur not wrong to feel this way
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 6:39 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • he should take his punishment like a man, if he doesn't i would say send him to bootcamp.


    He has autism....THIS is NOT the answer!
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 11:28 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN