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Should I allow my mother in law to take my 1 month old on outings without me?

my mother in law has recently told me that next week end she was going to take my 1 month old to church... .along with her husband too.....which is an hour away from where i live... only the baby..... she has also commented that she was planning on taking him to work with her... she is a cleaning lady at a large home 2 hours away....
Should I allow her to take him WITHOUT ME around at such a young age??? it makes me nervouse and I feel weired about it.... and she is insistent on taking him...
SIDE NOTE: for the past year now she has had panick attacks and she has called 911 for an ambulance more times I lost count.... she says its her heart and muscles and having a heart attack.... but doctors allready told her its not a heart attack its panick attacks and she needs to see a psychologist.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Aug. 23, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (23)
  • its a matter of trust. She raised your DH just fine, obviously. :) Its really up to you tho.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 11:10 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I wouldn't let my mother in law take my child anywhere at 1 month old. In fact, I didn't let her take my daughter anywhere until my daughter could talk.
    Mommy2Gabrielle

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 11:11 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Dunno about 'should' but I know I wouldn't have.

    Psychologically, when your child cannot perceive you (and this is true until they're past a year) you cease to exist. When trauma like that happens regularly, they cease to be able to connect to people.

    Your mil could also insist that you pimp out your 5yo daughter and use cocaine. Who cares what she insists on? Keep your baby with you, in your arms, for preference. Be ready to call 911 whenever she's around if she makes a move to leave with the child. She may not have noticed, but the baby isn't hers.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:11 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Nope. Not my babies, they stayed at my side where they belonged. Though, I EBF so it was fairly impossible for them to be away from me... Mothers and babies belong together, if your MIL can't respect that, or feels obligated to cross those boundaries it should be addressed NOW, before it becomes a problem.

    YOU are the mother, and YOUR JOB is to protect, love, and care for your child- if you're not comfortable, then follow your instinct, it is there for a reason.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:12 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • why would she need to take your baby with her while she cleans houses? and expose the baby to all of the chemicals... I think not
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 11:13 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • No to all that crap!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:15 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Hell no! She needs to understand that its your kid & YOU dictate where & with whom your child goes places. A 1 mo old doesn't need to be out & exposed to all the germs floating around the congregation nor smelling the fumes of the toxic chemicals as she cleans. She needs to be reminded that she asks for permission to take your child anywhere.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 11:15 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • She cant do anything that you dont let her. Did she ask or tell you? If she told me I would be pissed!
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 11:15 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • no
    RoseWall

    Answer by RoseWall at 11:18 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I didn't let anyone take my babies at 1 mo old. It wasn't even a matter of trust. I just wanted them with me. I don't think anyone has the right to TELL you they are taking your baby anywhere. This is your child, you should be asked, not told, & you have the right to say NO, I'm not ready yet.

    As far as the 911 calls.....if she believes she's having heart issues, she shouldn't be taking a baby anyway, & if she's psychologically disturbed, then she shouldn't be taking the baby anywhere, & your husband should support you in that. He should also let his mom know that this is your baby, She needs to back off, ask not tell you...then accept your answer, if the answer is no, then she needs to give you time, & ask again when your baby is a older.

    I say this as a mom of 18, 21 & 27 yr old sons. I suppose I could be a grandmother at any time, & would love to have my grandbaby anytime, but even well meaning MIL's can overstep. GL
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:19 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

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