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Are we ruining our kids or hurting them by staying a part of the military?

Long story short, my husband is active duty AF and is going to active duty Army when he separates. My mom believes that not only will I be damaging my kids by not being close to her but I was also be raising insecure children who won't know how to socialize once in school. However, my sons are 7 months and 2 years. He is only enlisting for 3 more years, so we'd be finishing up as my son entered K. (cont'd)

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Oct. 8, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • Cont'd
    Beyond that, she says my husband is not a real man and is only joining cause he doesn't want to get his hands dirty (he's personnel). IMO, thats wrong. Anyway, she is pretty much saying if he goes through with this, she's done with me and my family. What do I do?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • That's ridiculous. She thinks your children will not be well socialized if their parent is military? That's silly, children socialize with other children. I think she is just mad that you are taking her grandchildren away from her. I suggest you join one of the military wives groups and get support from other women, and their opinions on socialization and such.

    Answer by toriandgrace at 11:19 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Oh my goodness. I am a army wife and I have 3 kids my self that are 4 years old(twins) and 18 months old. I am very proud of my husband and what he does. I support him a 100%! Your mom should be thankful that he has a steady job and takes care of his kids and you. If anything your kids would be more social because of all the moving and having to meet new people. I don't see why they would be insecure either. Maybe she is insecure? I mean maybe this is a sensitive subject for me but I mean come on. Your mom should support you and your family no matter what he does or decides to do. I think you should just let her say and do what she wants. You are a strong mother and women and you can do this without her. Just stand by your man and his decision. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • What struck me was the comment about damaging the children because they're not close to her. What's that about? Lots of families don't live near each other (I personally like it that way for myself). Seems to me that's her real beef. I'd like to add that I appreciate your family's commitment to the military. Your kids could do a lot worse than learning what it means to stand up for your country.

    Answer by WD40 at 11:50 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Thanks so much for the responses. (I'm the op)
    I am very proud of my husband for his commitment to not only taking care of his family but standing up for his country as well.
    I'm so glad that I am not the only one who believes my mom is wrong on this one. Hopefully we can work this out!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • Some of the most well socialized children I knew growing up were from military families. You learn to be open and make friends much easier because of the constant moving. And yes your husband is a man, even if he is personnel. My ex is also personnel in the Army and has a desk job, but he was still at risk every day when he was in Iraq. The only reason he will be getting out is simply because he no longer enjoys his job and he wants to move back closer to our son.
    Tell your husband thank you for his service :)

    Answer by legalmom343 at 10:05 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

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