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Do you ever feel violated? (A little Sexually Explicit)

Today my husband asked for Anal sex and I gave it to him. We only tried this twice before with him, or anybody for that matter. I can't help but feel violated. I never said that, but my reaction to him afterward spoke volumes. He continueally asks if I'm okey and that we never have to do it again. I really don't know how to feel. I feel like I did when i lost my virginity, totally confused and didn't enjoy a second of it. I just wonder if any one else feels like this, or if I'm being the wierd one. I think my husband feels like maybe he shouldn't have even asked. We've been married for 8 years if you're wondering.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:13 AM on Oct. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • I've done it with my husband. But just my husband. That way I don't feel violated. I feel like i'm doing something I'm not supposed to be doing... But with my husband.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • Me and my husband have tried it.. It wasn't the best so we haven't done it again, but I think you should talk to your husband. He will probably respect how you feel.

    Answer by atjm0919 at 12:17 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I do, do it with my husband but we take the steps it takes to make it enjoyable for both of us. There is only 1 other man I tried it with and I felt majorly violated. He didnt take time he just slmmed it in and I screamed and cried, I even bled. I swore I would never do it again. I met my husband 2 years after that and he talked me into it, he showed me that if it is done properly I too can enjoy it

    Answer by Married2theBest at 12:21 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I did it with my husband before. Thing is, I didn't mind losing my virginity (years ago to someone else) but did mind doing anal. I really didn't like it at all. I think your feelings are normal. If you don't like it, don't do it again. But let him know, if he loves you he won't make you do things you don't feel comfortable with.

    Answer by prettyrayray at 12:22 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • You should never feel "violated" being intimate with your husband. That's just wrong on so many levels.

    Different people have different comfort levels in the bedroom -- and the spouse should respect those boundaries.

    That being said, sometimes things can 'grow' on you (no pun intended) after a while, so nothing (within reason) should be just tossed out from the get-go.

    You said you felt all confused like when you lost your virginity -- maybe that's because you don't do it this way very often. Or, maybe it's just outside your comfort zone --- at least for now. You never know... you might be the one asking for different things in a few years LOL.. who knows?

    Bottom line is... if you're not comfortable with it, don't do it. If he knows you're not comfortable with it, he shouldn't ask for it. And if you change your mind in the future --- pounce on him! lol

    Answer by Laura1229 at 12:24 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I agree with the pp. However, if your husband does not respect your wishes and insists on doing things you don't like and/or hurts you, that's called abuse. You don't have to take it.

    Answer by rhope4 at 12:25 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • My husband and I do this form very rarely, but we do. When we do - we use KY, and *I* call the shots. He doesn't move without my okay. Slow and gentle, if anything is uncomfortable we stop. It's about respect and understanding each others bodies, and limits. Trust and knowing that you can stop at any time. This can be enjoyable, but only with mutual understanding that it's about both of you and they can't just be pounding away at your getting their own pleasure at your expense. You should never feel like you have to oblige your mate with any requests that you don't want to do.

    Answer by Serafyna at 12:32 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • Thanks, this is so embarrassing to ask anybody else. You put it into perspective. I think it REALLY hurts, even if its all lubed up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • no i never have, well i shouldn't say ever but it wasn't with hubby and i kinda put myself in situations where i go violated.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • Are we married to the same man. It hurts sooooooooo bad and I have only done it once with him. I was so angry afterward. I did it becasue I know he wanted to try it and I love him so I did it. Ouch it still hurts

    Answer by Amommieslove at 12:45 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

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