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Should I stay or should I go? help please!

I am currently 7 months and 2 weeks pregnant - Due roughly around December 5th. I currently live in Ohio and on November first, my boyfriend is moving to Arizona for an amazing job offer that I have known about since before the knowledge I was pregnant (obviously not planned). I have mentioned many times that I am unsure of a huge leap like that with a new baby and him as "just my boyfriend". And that I want him to at least propose if he expects me to go, I've also been with him for roughly 4.5 years and we are both 26. Anyways, he acted shocked when he saw me searching for apartments in my area saying that he was under the impression I was definately going with him. I am just needing some feedback as to what I should do. Am I being irrational to expect him to commit to me before such a big change or should I just go and make the best of it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Oct. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • You will know in your heart if you are suppose to go. I know that may not be the answer you are looking for but it is true. Trust in yourself, your relationship, and your gut intinct. You know deep down what is right. Emotions may be going crazy now with being pregnant but take 10 min a day for then next couple days, and go into a quiet room and do some soul searching.
    Good luck
    Amommieslove

    Answer by Amommieslove at 12:38 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • Do you love him? do you think it will work, If so go with him. I live in a town I absolutely despise bc right now this is where my fiances at.
    myleesmom

    Answer by myleesmom at 12:39 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • Honey I would be doing the same thing, I would want a commitement myself. Did he take you seriously when you said that? Maybe sit down with him and have that heart to heart and let him know you mean business and see where he stands on it. I don't blame you for wanting that extra security the last thing you want is to move somewhere and then be left with no place to go. Good Luck in whatever you decide
    Married2theBest

    Answer by Married2theBest at 12:40 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I would want a commitment, but thats just me. If nothing else it will bring either the best or worst out of him, if you decide to stand your ground on the commitment part. If the ugly comes out in him, then better now than later
    meme4x

    Answer by meme4x at 12:40 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • Awww honey, I'm so sorry to hear that. No, you need him to make that commitment to you. You're the mother of his child and you deserve to be his wife. I think you should talk to a man in his life.. is his father around? And have him tell your bf that he needs to marry you for the sake of your baby. Hearing it from another man will make a difference. Good luck. I wish you the best
    MicahsMom612

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 12:45 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • as a person that went threw this i was scared that he would find someone else, and i would be left with a baby and the baby won't even get to know him
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • obviously he wants you to go with him so there is a level of commitment there but if you push it he might feel trapped. even though he would like to move it forward or has maybe even thought about it and is maybe planning on doing that when he got settled in arizona first. who knows but if you told him what you wanted and he hasn't reacted i would let him go. you might just scare him away. so it's not something any one answer is available for. i wouldn't move with out at least a promise ring. he should tell you what his intentions are.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:54 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I think you should go. You need to be together in this. He wants you to so go for it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • IT BASICALLY COMES DOWN TO, DO YOU LOVE HIM, DO YOU WANT TO BE WITH HIM, DO YOU SEE A FUTURE WITH HIM, AND DO YOU THINK HE'LL MAKE A GOOD DAD :)

    HOPE THE BEST FOR YOU IN EVERWHERE YOU CHOOSE.....R U HAVIN A BOY OR GIRL???
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 2:01 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • It depends on the family support and the health care you will have during the first year. Since your are not married, his health care might only cover the birthing and not any complications you might endure. Plus don't forget to child support and child custody issues that might arise. With most marriages ending in divorce its something to consider. I would just make sure he signs the birth certificate and then you need to submit the child support paperwork asap. That way the baby and you will be covered regardless of the relationship. What is important is your comfort level. If your are stressed or depressed the baby will feel it. So do your breathing work, get plenty of rest, and pray/meditate/visualize what situation feels best to you.
    rkms_mom

    Answer by rkms_mom at 2:01 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

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