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Relationship questions...

I should prob do a journal on this but i am hopeing for advice. I have been married for 4 years, got married when I was 18yrs. Have 2 children, Had my first one at 17 yrs..I have done everything backwards. I really wanted to have a degree and everything before family but didnt work out as planned. Anyway my husband is a year younger than me. We have good days and bad days..He use to hang out with his friends and party all the time while i was at home with our baby, and preg with our other child. I have put up with way more than i should have. He has a problem with drugs, use to be worse than it is at this moment but im just soo tired of him. I love him but at the same time hate him? I dont even understand it. I have pretended everyting is ok for so long im just tired of pretending..but he loves me is what he says.. I dont know if i should just stay for the kids or what.. I dont have any money or a job. Dont know what to do!!?!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Aug. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Have you talked to him? Try to get counseling. If he's doing drugs tell him it's either the drugs or his family .
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:22 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • This isn't going to be a popular answer, but if he's a drug addict and you're not happy, it's time to move on. Do you have family or friends you and the kids could stay with until you are on your feet?
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 3:25 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Do others know of his drug problem? Your folks? His family? Part of being married is that we commit to not only accepting the baggage our mates have but also to helping them overcome it. You and he are young, and you have two young children who deserve a chance at growing up with both their parents. If I were where you are today, I would do everything in my power to get him help in overcoming his dependence on drugs. This may involve calling in help from others to help you, but your family is worth the embarrassment, if that's what it amounts to. Many churches now have trained counsellors on staff and many charge little or even nothing for their services. You can make some phone calls and ask questions to see if you can find help. Once you have it lined up, then you tell your hubby that you have made arrangements to help him and save your family. Divorce is not the only answer. There are others, so make some calls.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:26 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Don't stay for the kids, that's never a good idea. Stay because that's what you want to do. Kids know if you stay because of them, and feel guilty and a host of other things. If he can't step up and do as he should, so you don't hate him, if he can't get off drugs, then leave. Women do it all the time. My sister did, my aunt did. My other sister did although her husband wasn't on drugs. Find a college course that is quick, CNA, something. Take it, get a job, and leave. You don't have to get divorced, but you don't have to stay. You can get child support, and that would help. If he wants to work on himself and your marriage, then that would be great. But don't stay for the kids only.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 3:27 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • If you are truely unhappy then maybe you should leave.The fact that he is doing drugs scares me for you and your children I was a addicted to drug for 8 yrs.(Thank god I didn't have children.)If he loves and cares for you and the kids then he wouldn't be spending money on drugs or be doing them and he wouldn't be chillin with his friends all of the time.Momma you don't have to pretend anymore.You can go to family or a friend and see if you and the kids can stay there for a bit until you can get help with a place of your own and food stamps and money.Go to your local wel-fare office and sign up for this stuff right away.You can also tell him to leave until he can really decide what he wants cause he has a family and he is a married man.Tell him what has been going on isn't working for you and that your unhappy.Make changes and yes it will hard i promise it will get easier with time.keep your kids safe and you need to be happy.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:34 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Dont stay especially with someone on drugs!
    camtri3

    Answer by camtri3 at 3:44 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Never stay just for the kids. Kids are smart and they will figure things out, no matter how you try to hide it. For your sake, AND your kids sake, you need to get out!!

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 4:47 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

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