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venting police, bad day,kids

I have joint custody of my kid her dad has primary care I was supposed to have her 10am-8pm I picked her up ok but when I left her (12 yr kid) with my fiancee for 2 hr my ex & the police came & got her.. & once I was done with work my ex didn't return her to me. nor were the police help they said its a civil matter.. I live in the city it where he took her he lives in a diff city close by I tried to handle it in his city I go tomorrow to try to handle it in my city both cities are trying their best to say its the others responsibility. i am at a lost for words I was treated like I did something wrong for going to work.. any thoughts

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Asked by maiahlynn at 9:53 PM on Aug. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,143 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Errr. That bites. It is a civil matter but the pobo came to get her but not bring her back.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 9:56 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • If your fiancee was supervising your twelve year old daughter while you were at work, and you were supposed to have custody of your daughter for that time, It doesn't look like you did anything wrong. Your financee should make the right people aware that your daughter was not alone and he was there to supervise her while you were at work. This way you don't come across as having left her alone and that another adult was there watching over her.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 10:01 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Is there a reason why your fiancee should not be watching your daughter? Does your ex have connections with the police? It really doesn't make a lot of sense as to why this would have happened.


    Answer by scout_mom at 10:14 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • What does the fine print of your custody agreement say? I know that for my SIL before she married her current husband, she could not be in the house alone or overnight with her now stepson. There were no opposite sex overnight visitors allowed at either mom or dad house. If a babysitter was needed it was to be an agreed upon person on a list that both had in their possession.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:23 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Not sure what you can do. The visitation is for YOU to be with your child not your fiance.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 11:10 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • there is nothing in our agreement saying no overnight visitors of opposite sex.. they knew she wasn't alone. the cop claimed she had tears in her eyes & said she didn't feel comfortable, but my daughter never talked she only shook her head in agreement & she had tears from guilt for leaving when she shouldn't have.. yes my visits are for me but I can do with them as I please my judge told that to my exhusband once just like he can leave her alone with others as he does every single day he has her.. him & I have the same rights.

    Comment by maiahlynn (original poster) at 1:57 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

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