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is it right to spank you child... help!

my daughter is turning three in a month. She is super smart, it feels like im talking to a teenager. She's sassy when she answers me, ' No mommy i dont want, i dont have too!' Spanking is the one thing that seems to work. Ive tried time out, but no it doesnt work. I dont want her to be scared of me, what should i do... help.

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pimaprincess

Asked by pimaprincess at 11:54 PM on Aug. 23, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • A simple swat on the butt never hurt anyone. If that's what it takes, do it.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:01 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • My parents used to sit me down and lecture me for an hour before we got a spanking. I don't advise that, but telling her why she's getting a spanking, might help her to understand what she's doing wrong rather than just lashing out.
    gnovinger

    Answer by gnovinger at 12:07 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I agree with m-avi. If you are doing it in an appropriate, loving way, not out of anger, she will not be scared of you. Make sure she knows what is expected of her and knows that her actions have a consequence. Both dh and I were spanked as children and we have wonderful relationships with our parents. Neither one of us were ever scared of them.
    JamieLK

    Answer by JamieLK at 12:08 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • You know my thoughts. . . there are other ways .. I dont ever think it is right. .

    There are great groups on here. . .I named a few earlier, AMP alternative ways to parenting has AWESOME resources for non spanking. . .

    Show your children the same respect you want from them :)
    Huntersmom209

    Answer by Huntersmom209 at 12:09 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I don't believe in spanking but maybe a little swat like m-avi says wouldn't hurt to get their attention.
    MamaLisa1976

    Answer by MamaLisa1976 at 12:09 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I don't think parents should ever spank. Psychologists know that authoritarian parenting isn't effective in the long run. It can teach kids to resent their parents and be sassy. The very behavior you are spanking for is what you are teaching.


    Without Spanking or Spoiling by Elizabeth Crary is a great book. The first edition came out in 1980 or 1981 and shaped my parenting, my oldest was born in 1979. You can have well behaved kids without spanking, time-outs, taking things away ect.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:11 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I don't believe in spanking and neither does the experts who have done massive studies on it. It's not allowed in most of the U.S. schools either. Its been shown to cause problems with fighting, aggressiveness and sexual problems. My husband and I were both spanked growing up and I can tell you from a firsthand experience that it has caused many problems. Educate yourself on how to properly discipline. Watch Supernanny, she doesn't spank and she turns unruly kids right around. She has books out too. GL
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 12:14 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I do not believe in spanking, ever. There are other ways to get the point across. I don't believe in inflicting pain to get what you want. IMO, it's just not conducive to teaching your kids right from wrong. GL
    Glamourina

    Answer by Glamourina at 12:20 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • When I first became a parent 8 years ago, I thought spanking was horrible! My daughter never needed it though, she has always been very well behaved! HOWEVER- LOL My son on the other hand changed my mind about spanking! Time outs didnt work, talking to him, didnt work it seemed like nothing worked! I used spanking as what I considered my last resort! I dont spank him hard I just tap him on the butt and he gets the point! We spank and then put him on time out and our time out is very boring! its in the kitchen on a tall wood chair and he has to fold his arms and not talk- if he talks, the timer gets reset... I think this type of discipline has helped us with my son! I think that if you do use spanking as a discipline, you should make sure that you arent hurting the child and that you are just letting them know you are serious! Not a painful spank but a "hey Im serious" kinda spank!
    sxc_mom_of2

    Answer by sxc_mom_of2 at 12:22 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Taking authority over your child does not mean spanking you can do it in a stern voice and let them know you are the mom and you will not talk like that and you can go sit on your bed until you say your sorry, then when they say they are sorry ask what it is they are sorry for.
    kids of any age over 3 can be talked to and actually talking about feelings and behavior works better then the spanking.
    For my kids I am fun and loving but I will get vocal when I'm mad and they know it, and they do not like it ..but they trust that I will not be hurting them at the same time. I get very stern and make my point very clear to them and I also teach them from a young age about respect and honesty that it goes both ways. I also have held my child by the shoulders and have made things very clear about what I expect from them. I also ignore tantrums and walk away. Get them under control while they are young or you will regret it later
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:37 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

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