Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

sibling 5 years apart.

Ladies, what is it like when siblings are about 5yrs apart? (have kids 5yrs apart or if you were a sibling of 5yrs apart).

Right now Im just really stressed out & feel guilty. I wanted my kids to be close in age (about 1-2yrs apart) so they would grow up together. But I dont want to get pregnant until Im at a healthy weight again( im 218. need to be at least 150) my dd is turning 4 in october so i know it will be another year before i even think about getting pregnant! :-(
I just feel so guilty, its my fault! :-( If i could get off my fat butt & lose the weight I could have had my babies closer in age.

 
MommaTasha1003

Asked by MommaTasha1003 at 12:06 AM on Aug. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 24 (20,837 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Hun - don't beat yourself up. I hear ya! Right now you have a choice - you can beat yourself up or do what you want. But DON'T feel guilty. Maybe there is a reason you didn't have them closer in age. My oldest was 8 and my 2nd one was 5 1/2 when my youngest was born. He was SUPPOSED to come earlier, but we had issues getting pregnant and then I had a miscarriage. Then he came along and is an amazing blessing. My older children love him to pieces!! They are so helpful and loving. They think he is just the "stuff"! lol I wouldn't have it any other way. I am almost 9 years younger than my closest sibling and we are all still close (they are 12, 10, and almost 9 years older than me). Just include your dd in stuff - take her to doc appts, let her pick out a neat outfit, let her help out when a new baby comes. Losing weight is difficult, but don't let that be your only reason to wait to have a baby. I wanted that too, but decided..
    mama2000_1

    Answer by mama2000_1 at 12:11 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • My brother and I are five years apart. We went through phases of getting along and not getting along, normal sibling rivalry I think. The older we got the better friends we became. We have a good relationship now and are pretty close.
    JamieLK

    Answer by JamieLK at 12:11 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Don't feel bad about it - my brother and I are 4 1/2-5 years apart. My mom had tried to get pregnant earlier as well, but she had difficulty doing it. It made it easier I think for my mom, because I was reading by that time and so I could read to my baby brother while she was trying to get him to sleep, and it made me feel part of the process with the baby so I didn't have the jealousy of the new person in the house. Even though my brothers are two years apart and are closer (genderwise and the fact that they shared a room); I am still close to both of them. It's all in how you structure your family activities. Best of luck momma :)

    Also I was 240 when I found out I was pregnant - the doctors kept a good watch on me and I only went up to 268. Right now I'm 219 and hoping to be under 200 by the end of the year. You can do it!!!! :)
    amw529

    Answer by amw529 at 12:12 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • My son and daughter are 5 years apart and it has made things easier in my experience. I see people struggling with their kids who are close. where as I had one self suffecient child who could do everything on his own and a baby. He helped out when needed and didn't have jelousy issues he still helps with her and she looks up to him. Her first word was bubba.
    StephanAndCoral

    Answer by StephanAndCoral at 12:13 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • if they are sisters they will fight alot until they are out of the teen years....but then again maybe best of friends because the older one teaches the younger one and the younger one listens...It is hard to say really. I have seen both sides and when it comes to oppisite sex siblings it actually helps from what I have seen.
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:14 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • having my family was more important at the time and I had tons of time afterward to focus on me losing the weight. My youngest is 2 years old and I have lost 30lbs. I have at least 25 more to go but am working on it. Don't get discouraged - you can always continue to try and lose weight as you try to get pregnant. And make sure you eat healthy WHILE you are pregnant so you don't add too much weight back on. That will only be harder to come off later too. Good luck mama and don't get down. Baby dust to you!!!
    mama2000_1

    Answer by mama2000_1 at 12:15 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • My boys are all about 4 years apart and they get along quite well. I am 5, 7 and 8 years older than my sisters and have a great relationship with all of them. I am closest to the one that's 7 years younger mostly because we live in the same city and have similar circumstances. Yet the two that are 3 years apart have a terrible relationship, and even the rest of them fought like cats and dogs when they were younger.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 12:26 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I agree with what everyone else telling you. Also...it is not the age gap but how you parent. My brother is 20 months younger than me, we do not speak.
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 12:47 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • My kids are 7 years apart and now they are grown you couldn't find siblings as close as they are. Don't worry about this, it is what it is........BTW they fought like hell when younger,,,,but now they are very close.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 8:28 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • My daughter and her twin brothers are about 5 years apart. She has a really close relationship with one of the twins and the other twin - well his personality is a bit "bossy" so he's not as close to anyone beyond his twin. My husband is really close with his sister that's 6 years younger than he is.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:11 AM on Aug. 24, 2010