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kinda in shock here

I grounded my dd 17 for innapropriate texts she and her boyfriend were sending back and forth tonight I go into her room and find she went and got a prepaid cell phone and has resumed contact with this boy. I feel totally betrayed and up till now thought I could trust her. Now I feel like making her quit her job where she goes and talks with him. What would you all do how long should I ground her I dont want her to think lying or keeping things behind my back is ok.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:25 AM on Aug. 24, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • she's probly all GAGA over this boy... i remember when i was 16 and thought i knew what was best for me and i did steak around for a boy.... horrible decision on my part!! i wish my mom know how good i was at hiding the fact that i was still seeing him.. she needs you to stay strong and stick to your guns.. dont let her get away with sneaking to see him,,. its not worth it at all
    momaholly

    Answer by momaholly at 1:35 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Honey she is almost grown... sad to say but its better then drugs and selling herself. At least she is going to work and school. Ask her to be honest with you and really listen to what she has to say about her relationships. One day she will be a mom and have to go through similar issues.... or you can ttbu (tear that butt up.) But after 15 the best thing you can do is talk to not down to her and help her understand what's going on with her body and emotions. Stay close to her and don't punish her for exploring. We all have to go through this.
    starlit_kissez

    Answer by starlit_kissez at 1:41 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • when i was 17 my dad never allowed me to do n e thing at allll ! n i was terrified of him, but i still did everything behind his back, so no matter what she's gonna do what she wants, that age is just crazy
    chriskris

    Answer by chriskris at 1:33 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Pour it on that thick and you will loose her the day she turns 18. Pick your battles, give her a good foundation, but ultimately she has to make a few mistakes, date a few jerks, etc. - it's part of the growing up process. The harder you try to keep her from this boy the harder she will work to be near him. Back off or you will loose her all together.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I don't have teens so I can't speak from experience, I can only imagine how frustrating that has got to be. :( I think demanding that she quit would be an overreaction. You took her phone for the way she behaved with it and that made sense. So, now what you need to discipline her for is sneaking behind your back right? Can you take away something else that you supply her with? Internet or something? I would think you should aim to show her that she isn't so much as an adult as she thinks and that you do supply her way of life and she should show more respect. idk... So not looking forward to the teen years! As far as the guy goes... I think I'd rather make sure she has what she needs to make smart, responsible decisions pertaining to this boy than try to keep her from him. That will only backfire.

    Jessica157

    Answer by Jessica157 at 1:41 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Shouldn't lock her up..have a talk with her ..tell her how she broke ur trust towards her..she still lives under ur roof so ur the mother...dnt ground her that bad she's 17..she didn't do drugs or got expelled to really do that..I say conversate w her and maybe meet her boyfriend
    Leilene07

    Answer by Leilene07 at 2:09 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Dont make her quit her job. Keep talking to her because it sound like sex is near by and you dont want her prego. Stay involved and talk to the boy and his parents because you cant keep her locked up or you will lose her forever. Everybody has lied to their parents before so dont go overboard since this was her first time.gl
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 7:37 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • She's not going to stay a little girl forever... I was a mom on my own at 17...
    SWEETPEAS3MOM

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 1:30 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • i dont think your over reacting,, she lied to you and went way out of her way to do that.. you cant let her get away with thinking she cando that to people...you arent "locking her up" she needs to be punished for what she did, she deffinetly knew what she was doing was wrong.. stick to it hun
    momaholly

    Answer by momaholly at 1:31 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Man does that sound like my older sibling lol. Okay well first thing I would do is take away everything and I do mean EVERYTHING that is near and dear to her. 2 weeks with no cell phone, tv, computer, going to friends' houses, having friends over, after school activities, sports, shopping, movies, music, and I'm not kidding make her get up early every morning and volunteer at the local soup kitchen or food bank. She needs to get a clue that there are people less fortunate than herself. GL
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 1:32 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

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