They're taking advantage of you. Looks like your mother in law is unhappy when you care and when you don't...so why bother. My advice would be to love yourself, take care of yourself, be yourself. Stop worrying about what they all think of you. Don't forget this family is what your husband was raised with. He's used to this behavior. Don't try to turn him against them...he needs to see this on his own. Maybe by him seeing a happy, confident, wife who loves herself who puts her needs first, he will open his eyes.
at 8:15 AM on Oct. 9, 2008