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5 Bumps

Did I ruin it? adult content

So I've known this guy for years and haven't seen him in years, I recently came out of a bad relationship and we came across eachother online again. We started talking and thought about being friends with benefits, and if one met someone we would stop. Well, we hung out last week and things started happening, but we both stopped it. We felt like it was rushed, and he said he liked me and would rather get to know me better and wait to do that again until there were feelings there b/c it would mean more. He said he wanted me to put my ex behind me before we start seeing eachother. Well, it was kinda awkward after that, but we talked the next day [texting a few times] I initiated it. We haven't talked since last week so I'm afraid I've ruined it :( He proved he's a good guy, and I really want to see where it goes. He said we could, just give it time. Not sure if hes being distant to give me time to move on or what?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Aug. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • well thats human nature. after enough time its always possible for a bond to grow weaker and give new opportunities a chance to arise.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 9:53 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • no not ruined it
    just relax, give it time to UN achward itself

    friends with benefits sounds good on phone but in person it does not always feel right

    sounds like the start of what could be a great relationship

    and HE wanted to wait because feelings are there!!!
    wow! a great man

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:53 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • sounds like he is a decent enough guy. so maybe he doesn't want your friendship ruined and he can't just be friends with benefits. i don't think you've ruined anything. he's probably just giving you time to figure out what it is you want. it really sounds like he wants more of a relationship with you.

    Answer by tanper29 at 9:54 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Only time will tell what he is looking for. Just be sure you dont chase him. You could invite him to something in about a week but otherwise let him initiate the contact. Focus on you in the meantime. put your life back with baggage so when you do find the right guy you are ready and healthy.

    Answer by ria7 at 9:54 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • He may just be busy or may be trying to give you time to think about if you really want something to do with him... or he could even be playing hard to get.
    I would let him come to you... if you don't hear from him in a few days then write him.

    Give yourself time to heal... you just got out of a relationship.

    Answer by Memigen at 9:56 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • From my initial thought he is into you, but wants to be sure you are past your ex so that he doesn't get his heart broken. If you truly over your ex, let him know without going into great detail & pursue the relationship with caution so that he knows you mean it & remember its not just you who's been hurt, but him that can be hurt.


    Answer by KDBeckham at 9:58 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • i agree with ria7

    Answer by miritrose at 9:58 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • You defiantly havent ruined it.
    If you just talk to him, things will work out!

    Answer by janieishappy at 9:59 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Time will tell what he is looking for.You could invite him to something in about a week but otherwise let him initiate the contact. Focus on you in the meantime. put your life back together

    Answer by MTM at 10:04 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • ***OP***

    I havent heard from him since the day after this happened, and that was last week. I initiated the texting the day after, he was nice and responded, but I got the feeling he may have been in a bad mood or something, so I said I didnt wanna bother him and Id talk to him later. So the last time we talked was Friday. I'm worried the lack of contact is a bad sign?? We weren't close friends, we knew eachother from years ago, connected online again, and last week was the first time I saw him in years. He proved that night that he's a good guy by wanting to wait and stopping it even after it started...I just thought if he was into me I would have heard from him?? Should I be the one to contact him once things settle down or wait on him?? Im so confused...

    Answer by Ness87 at 10:08 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

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