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How could I have let myself get in this situation?

Well, it started last night when I asked my BF of almost 2yrs if our relationship was going to move to the next level and his reply was "I DON"T KNOW!" Then I asked if I was in his future and he said " he wants me here and that he doesn't and won't ever ask me to leave & that I will always have a home here". But honestly, how can he say that ? He says that a piece of paper doesn't mean that much to him that it's only paper/I always thought from the beginning that marriage was in his future as much as mine but I was wrong.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:40 AM on Oct. 9, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I like Avasmommy's outlook on it. He needs to understand that it is a symbolism. It is not just a piece of paper. In the process with it you get rings (symbolizing your love for each other), you get to take his last name (if you so cose to do so). It is a DEEP commitment.
    If he does not want the commitment he needs to tell you that NOW instead of wasting your time. If your dream is to get married and he doesnt want to, I think you should follow your dream.

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 11:04 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • IMO...if it's "just a piece of paper" to him, then why NOT get married? I mean, if all it is is a useless piece of paper, then why does he have a problem with marriage?


    Answer by AvasMommy810 at 7:45 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • To have a good marriage you have to want the same things in life generally.Maybe he just isn't the guy for you, even though you obviously love him.If you forced him to marry you, he would resent it and you.

    Answer by evelynwest at 7:49 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I think you let yourself get into this situation because you hoped that it would lead to marriage. I know it's an old fashioned idea, but if you want to be married, you have to first of all have a man come looking for you who wants a wife. That's what is so bad about becoming sexually involved before marriage. It dulls one's vision to the real character issues that are so important for long-term marriage relationships. If your desire is to be a wife, then leave this guy and wait for a man who wants to be a husband. The piece of paper is the requirement of the state which signifies the willingness to commit to the relationship. It's not the paper he doesn't want--it's the commitment.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:16 AM on Oct. 9, 2008