Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

Homeschool vs Public Education: Social skills

Everytime this issue is brought up, most ppl jumo to the conclusion that homeschooled students lack the social skills that publically educated students learn in classrooms. I however beg to differ!
My 4 1/2 yr old son is highly social and very interactive with other kids. In fact he is ALWAYS the first to introduce himself, and start a play game at the park (or other community places/events). Irronically, its the kids that are in public school that tend to have nasty attitudes and judges him when he extends a hand of friendship. (not all, of course). My kids go to parks and play just fine, they go to the library and behave just fine, they go to cooking classes and interact just fine. I personally disagree that HOMESCHOOLING is the reason for social outcast or lack there of, yet that seems to be the barrier of judgment for homeschoolers. If you homeschool and your child is antisocial, will you choose public edu as a solution

Answer Question
 
sugahmamma

Asked by sugahmamma at 1:16 PM on Aug. 24, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 17 (3,243 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • There is a large group of home schooling families in my area. NONE of these kids or young adults have the skills needed... It's not about behavior, that comes back to upbringing, not schooling. What matters is how these kids learn to function in a mixed environment. How do they learn to relate to people who have nothing in common with them if they are only exposed to people they have something in common with? Children who are homeschooled don't HAVE to learn to function in a mixed world, because when they are interacting it's through groups or classes where the other kids have something in common with them - there is always a common thread. But they need to learn to function surrounded by people who have NOTHING in common with them, and they simply don't get that at home. They also don't learn how to deal with cliques, bullies or that "weird kid" that they are going to encounter out in the real world.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:22 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Personally I know many homeschoolers and some purposely take their kids to social events etc and they even have a homeschool gym class at our local YMCA. There are also some who purposely shelter their kids from the entire world and that is their reason for homeschooling in the first place. Personally I think as long as the homeschooled kids are being put into social situations that they are better socially developed then public schooled kids because they public schooled kids are in a classroom with a bunch of kids the same age where as the homeschooled are in classes and what not with a wider variety of ages. Tell me how many of you work with people who are all the same age as you? Not many I am sure so being able to deal with age differences is a big plus in my book. My oldest is starting public kindergarten this year, but only because I don't think I have the discipline to homsechool him.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 1:22 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Homeschooling has it's place, and if that's your choice and it works for your family, great. But from experience of dealing with these kids and young adults (mostly the young adults who I was training for work) the social skills lack greatly over those who are in a public or even private school. Many times home schooling is needed - bad school systems, learning differences or disabilities, health issues, behavioral issues - whatever the need is, there are needs for it. That said I don't think it's the right choice for the vast majority, nor do I think it ever will be.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:24 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • How do they learn to relate to people who have nothing in common with them if they are only exposed to people they have something in common with?
    ****
    They don't relate. Kids form groups/cliques/gangs and avoid people that they have nothing in common with.


    michiganmom116

    Answer by michiganmom116 at 1:30 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Children who are homeschooled don't HAVE to learn to function in a mixed world, because when they are interacting it's through groups or classes where the other kids have something in common with them - there is always a common thread.
    ****
    Children who are homeschooled are not limited to interacting with those that have something in common with them. They learn to interact in various situations with various ages of people from various groups. Put it this way: "Children who are public schooled don't HAVE to learn to function in a mixed world, because when they are interacting it's through groups or classes where the other kids have something in common with them - there is always a common thread."
    michiganmom116

    Answer by michiganmom116 at 1:33 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I disagree. I think that learning all together has been signed over to public schools and now they get all the credit for properly educating children about society and life. Social skills is a natural development. Homeschoolers now and days have many outlets that help the students experience socialization. Take the park for instance. My kids are there everyday, weather permitted. The weird kids are there, the big kids are there, the mean kids are there, the shy kids are there. All kinds of kids are there, and he learns from personal interaction who he feels comfortable playing with. At home I teach him how to deal with bully, but the truth is not all kids have to deal with them anyway. I just dont understand why homeschooling is the blame for so many 40 yr old, sad and lonely virgins, lol!

    sugahmamma

    Comment by sugahmamma (original poster) at 1:33 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Most people jump to the conclusion that "home" schooling means the kids are kept shut up in a house and not allowed to interact with any outsiders until the age of 18. They don't realize that is 99% NOT the case. A good homeschooling parent sees that their child receives a well rounded education, including learning how to interact with various types/ages/groups of people. A good homeschooling parent sees that their child is exposed to various venues and appropriate situations at an appropriate age. You only hear of the bad homeschool situations; rarely does the good, successful home school story make it into the public eye.



    michiganmom116

    Answer by michiganmom116 at 1:41 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • LOL sugahmamma! The only 40 yr old virgins I know are public school grads! All of the homeschool grads that I know are married, successfully employed, and have children. Hmm.
    michiganmom116

    Answer by michiganmom116 at 1:47 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • LoL!!!
    I second that "hmm"
    sugahmamma

    Comment by sugahmamma (original poster) at 1:54 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I'm one of the people that think "socially inept" when I think about homeschooled kids. Of the 20 or so homeschooled kids that I knew/know personally - 20 or so of them were/are socially inept. I've yet to personally meet anyone that breaks that stereotype for me.

    Do I think that ALL homeschooled kids are "weird"? No. I'm sure there are plenty out there that aren't, and I would say that that's because their parents did it correctly. However, of the homeschooling parents I know, they were either so paranoid that they over sheltered their kids, or they were too lazy to take their kids out of the house.
    DusterMommy

    Answer by DusterMommy at 2:10 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.