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how to explain problems to DH without ruining his life adult content

my husband is stressed right now for various reasons and loves to remind me of all the ways those things are my fault. He does it "playfully" and in a "silly manner" but I am not entirely sure I can go one more day like this. He's mistaking a depressed and despondent mood for cheating on him, lazy, etc. ... without destroying the dynamic of an already fragile relationship how can I tell him I am feeling so hopeless that the only joy left for me is fantasies of the most practical and efficient ways to die.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Aug. 24, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • to clarify..."remove yourself from the situation". (insert foot in mouth) i mean get out of there.

    Answer by JessieK79 at 1:59 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Um.. Sweetie? I'm thinking that you acting on those fantasies will ruin his life much more than you telling him about them. Please, please, please... Fess up and get some help! Now! Best of luck.

    Answer by laurelsmama at 1:47 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • You need to find someone to talk to and NOW! Someone beyond your husband.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 1:50 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • tell him to knock it off cause it is really effecting you in a bad way and even though he is stressed so are you and he doesn't have to pin all the blame in one place. Then suggest you two go to counseling and talk to your dr. about the situation. . . you could very well benefit from anti-depressants. I know I have in the past. GL

    Answer by Kirs at 1:50 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • yes in other words fess up and tell him you two need help now before it is too late! GL

    Answer by Kirs at 1:50 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I agree with the above statements. You need to get counseling now. You are entering a danger zone when you actually start to envision ways to do yourself in. There are places through your local community and church resources where you get counseling on a sliding scale fee. Or if you are financially stressed you can probably get help from a church lay counselor. But please get help.

    Answer by HelenCarlene at 1:54 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • If you are feeling that desperate- PLEASE seek help. I have suffered a lot from depression, and its not easy to get through alone. You neeed support. Try talking to your husband about how you feel. If don't feel comfortable talking to him about it try counseling. I would suggest asking him to go with you.
    Hang in there and don't give up!!!

    You may also try taking fish oil and,or b12 vitamins.

    Answer by GingerMom33 at 1:54 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • COUNSELING. RIGHT NOW. BOTH OF YOU. Go yourself if he won't go with you and for GOD"S sake stop worrying about "ruining" his life. Worry instead about PRESERVING YOUR OWN and that of your CHILDREN, however many you have.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:55 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Im sorry you are in that situation. It isnt a easy one to be in or offer advice about. That being said, you HAVE to find ways to make YOURSELF happy! That is your RIGHT as a human. If you feel like you need to offer your husband help that is fine, but you cannot allow him to bring you down the way he is. That is NOT his right. Please find someone you trust to talk to and advise him to do the same. If he is not willing and continues to belittle you remove yourself from the situation. Good Luck! I am here if you need to talk.

    Answer by JessieK79 at 1:57 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Please get some help or at least tell him what you have told us. There are two hotlines that I believe are current numbers if you need them....crisis hotline is 800-273-8255 and suicide hotline is 800-784-2433. If not current call 411 for help with numbers. There are people out there that care. Please help yourself to bring you more peace.

    Answer by elizabr at 2:01 PM on Aug. 24, 2010