Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

6 Bumps

Confused?What are your opinions

I have been married to my husband for 8.5 years, I have known him for 11. He has always been a little verbal and a little insulting, this last fight we had, He had me in the corner screaming at me, I spit at him, just to get him to back off, he punched me arem 2x, then I slapped him across the face, he then went into a rage and punched my are several times leaving a large bruise on for 2 weeks. My cousin says that I am bonded to him and we need counseling, we have tried before when he cheated, he quit. He will not help clean the house, and when I come home from12 hour shift, I don't eat and if I do it is not until 10 because, I have to feed and put the kids to bed. If I am off, the kids are in bed at 8 and fed at 6, I know he has good qualities, and I have invested so many years, should I keep trying? or give up?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Aug. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (26)
  • Get out of there. I think you were both in the wrong for hitting each other. You've tried counseling and hhe quit, why stick around with someone who will treat you like garbage and hit you?
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:57 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • What good qualities?? Do you feel you have to put up with abuse just because he's your husband? I'd be out the door if my husband used me as a punching bag! You deserve so much better than this!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:58 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Give up and help your self. That is a bad situation and not worth saving, Do your kids see you fight like that? I would give it up, alot of pain would be saved.
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 3:58 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Now this is just my personal opinion...I would not stay with a man who was verbally abusive and I sure wouldn't stay with one who was physically abusive. Nor would I stay with a man who cheated on me. I would call the cops the first time he ever hit me and file charges so there is a record of his abuse. I would then get a restraining order and divorce him. Using the record of abuse to help get custody of the kids. If he hits you what's to stop him from hitting the kids? If not for yourself then for your children, get out of this relationship.
    mrspierce06

    Answer by mrspierce06 at 3:59 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • That's a good question. I'm sorry, if he hit you (no matter why) I would leave. I don't care if you've been together for 50 years. You don't want your kids seeing that and thinking it's ok. What would your advice be if your daughter was asking you this question, because basically you are giving her the answer with your actions. If he was willing to do counceling then maybe, just maybe I'd stay but he doesn't seem like he is. Good luck :)
    camsmom415

    Answer by camsmom415 at 3:59 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • well, you may be bonded, under a vow, married- but that doesn't mean yo have to live under the same roof with a man who risks your health and safety and hits you.

    pack the kids and get to a woman's safe shelter (or friends house) for now- talk to your pastor if you have one.
    calm down. let him calm down- and don't be in the same room to talk unless it's with a counselor present.
    then take it from there.
    Kiter

    Answer by Kiter at 3:59 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I missed the cheating and quit counselling part before-
    yep- time to leave.
    Kiter

    Answer by Kiter at 4:00 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • it is not giving up if a man hits you
    it is called giving yourself A NEW LIFE
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 4:01 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Wow. What are the good qualities? I can't imagine they could be good enough to make me want to stay.
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 4:01 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Get out!
    Elastigirl818

    Answer by Elastigirl818 at 4:01 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN