Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My 10 yr old does not like to listen. What can I do to help her change?

Answer Question

Asked by lbjd457 at 5:41 PM on Aug. 24, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 8 (220 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Have consequence for not listening. Consistent ones.

    Answer by KTMOM at 5:41 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • She has some sort of "currency"..........whatever is the most important thing to her. Tell her it will be withheld as the consequence of not listening. Be consistent and calm about it. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 5:43 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Compromise is key here since you say she isn't listening as well as you would like her to. For example, if she helps you with say the dishes, you can give her an equivalent for her good actions like an extra half hour of staying up or money for ice cream out or some small reward. Almost like a give and take situation to get her willing to help and participate and pay more attention since she will be getting something small in return for her efforts.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 5:45 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Start grounding her. My daughter is almost 10 and she gets grounded if she doesn't listen, now she listens better than she did. I'll take away her iPod, favorite TV shows and etc.. until she starts minding me.

    Answer by PoisonousBlonde at 5:45 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • is your child a girl??

    i have a ten year old step daughter sounds like i could have written this one
    she is sweet when she wants something, like have a friend over etc
    when she is snotty, i tell her that next time she wants something the answer is no
    and i say no when she asks next time to go roller blading or whatever and of course she is sweet before she wants to go

    also she gets chores, extra chores when snotty

    was rude and not listening hour before going to moms (split custody) thinks she will not have ounishment because she is out the door to other house=WRONG, i told her that as soon as she comes back to this house she has a chore...she continued and i is double now!!

    reminds me, she comes to our house for dinner tonight, better think of double chore as soon as she walk in the door, MAYBE she will listen next time i say knock the attitude off

    maybe not-then she can do more extra chores!

    Answer by fiatpax at 5:46 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • connsequences

    Answer by san78 at 6:30 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • There needs to be a consistently applied consequence each and every time. That's the only way to change the behavior.

    Answer by ihatetocook at 5:04 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.