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I need help! My daughter and boyfriend are not getting along like they used to.

My daughter and my boyfriend used to be like Father and Daughter, but recently when he comes over she'll be good, until he's been there for a few hours then she starts to get mean towards him. She will kick him, hit him, or just flat out not talk to him. Before she would love him like a father and play with him and want nothing to do with me only him. He has been a great father figure to her, and he's not going anywhere anytime soon so how can I make the situation better? Some people have told me he might have touched her, but I know for a fact he hasnt because I would never leave her alone with anyone. I dont let her out of my sight for not even a second, so I'd bet my life he has never touched her. And this is the only guy I have dated since me and her father broke up, so its not like I have random guys in and out of her life, I waited 2 -3 weeks into our relationship before they met. Below is some back ground info.

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calisurfr

Asked by calisurfr at 6:31 PM on Aug. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Back ground info: My daughter is 3 yrs old. Her real father never comes around anymore except once a week to drop off child support, but he doesnt stay. And thats by his own choice. The reason why I had to leave him was cause he was never around and basically chose his friends and other women over us, and he was also abusive verbally and also would just hit her for no reason. So father daughter time with her real father is out of the question.

    Has anyone had an experience like this before? If so, what happened and how can I correct it? (with my daughter and my boyfriend)
    calisurfr

    Comment by calisurfr (original poster) at 6:33 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • IMO,they met too soon. I'm betting she's getting the "replacing daddy" vibe from you,and is mad.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:33 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • That is a lot of changes for a 3 year old- sounds like the honeymoon period has worn off and she is not inclined to share you just yet. The whole "he is not going anywhere" is a bit bothersome- would you really continue to bring someone around your child that she is unhappy with-you need to work on HER first, then your relationships with others.
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 6:38 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Sounds like she's fighting through something and taking it out on him.
    Talk to her.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 6:59 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • You did not mention how long you have been with your boyfriend and how long he has been a part of your daughter's life. How long was her biological father in her life? These things may be a factor. She is three, and they can be very perceptive sometimes (depends on the child). You may have to give her more time and some space away from the boyfriend. Don't expect a three year old to make the heart adjustment you've made.
    69humblepie

    Answer by 69humblepie at 10:25 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

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