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How old was your daughter or son when you let them go to their first sleepover?

My daughter is nine and keeps begging me to be allowed to go to a friend's house for a sleepover but I keep refusing on the premise that I don't know her friend's parents well enough and her best friend's mother is a very lax woman. I.e. I let her go for a day a few weeks ago and when I got there they were in the family's deep temporary pool with no one watching at all and the mother sitting inside smoking. I do trust my daughter and her judgement BUT I just don't know if I'm ready to entrust her to anyone else yet.

So how old was your daughter/son when they went on their first sleepover? And after me explaining the situation would you let your child? I have had her friend sleepover many times but she now wants to go to her house and won't be dissuaded.

Answer Question

Asked by leah_rai at 7:25 PM on Aug. 24, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 19 (7,665 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Delaney is 8 (my others are younger) and we don't do sleepovers yet. 10 works for me, that's the plan here.

    Answer by Gaccck at 7:27 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • that doesnt sound like a safe place if a 9 year old is in a deep pool with no supervision. my pool is 4 feet and none of my kids go in without me. but my daughter has been allowed to have sleepovers since she was 6 but i always meet the parents and see for myself that the home is safe.

    Answer by cassie_m at 7:28 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Sorry you are in that situation. My son went on sleepovers earlier than that BUT with the proper parental supervision. The other mom and I were on the same page. I agree with you on this one. Not safe and you'd be a wreck all night. Is there another friend she can do one with? GL

    Answer by elizabr at 7:30 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I dont blame you for not letting her go, But John was a little over 2 I think... It was more like a babysitting thing, but he got to spend the night with his friends, I also keep his friends over here. But these are people that have been friends of the family for years, some of known hubby since Highschool. (Class of 94 if that tells you anything)

    John once he starts school will not alllowed to go any ones house that I haven't met the parents of first.

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 7:30 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Thank you for your agreement elizabr and cassie_m.

    No she seems to have no interest in sleeping over at the friend's with mothers I actually trust...

    Comment by leah_rai (original poster) at 7:31 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • My oldest was sleeping at his grammas at about 6 months because I worked midnight. But beyond that it hasn't ever come up. When we get to the point where they have friends and they want to have a sleep over - I won't stop it. If they are under 10 or so, I would insist on meeting the parents, but beyond that, I'm cool!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 7:32 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Well to solve the problem I would have the child spend the night at your house.

    Answer by sahlady at 7:45 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I started sleepovers when I started school. That will be the same plan for my daughter. I can't really put an age on it because it will be when my daughter feels comfortable enough with the friend and parents, and when I know them well enough. So I would say 5 and up. I estimate it will definitely happen before she is 7-8, but who knows. We're military, so she won't have as much stability as I had. GL!

    Answer by Glamourina at 7:45 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • my kids started much younger but I knew the parents VERY well and felt VERY comfortable.
    my daughter was in about 6th grade and wanted to spend the night at a particular friends home and I said no. The father has ALWAYS creeped me out. so even though she was allowed... she wasnt allowed there.

    Answer by sahlady at 7:46 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I started allowing my son to sleep over at his friend's house just down the street at age 8. Given what you're describing, I wouldn't allow my child there either. Does she have other friends that would make a better sleepover choice?

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 7:53 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

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