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3 Bumps

To all you DIVORCED MOMS--

Would you (if the situation presented itself) get married again?

I am recently divorced from my husband of 6 1/2 years. He left me alone with our 7 young children and moved to California ( I live in NJ) to be with his "new found love". Believe me, I am beyond happy for him. However, I just started seeing this amazing guy who not only loves me, but also loves my children and loves all the baggage that I come with. We recently started talking about marriage and even having more children, but I don't know. I am afraid I am going to be hurt again like I was with my husband.

Ugh. At the end of the day, I just want to do what's in the best interest of ALL of my children.

Answer Question
 
katfranz111

Asked by katfranz111 at 8:47 PM on Aug. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 4 (48 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Marriage is not the end all, be all of relationship status.

    I love my SO with all my heart, but I have no interest in marriage. I made that mistake before, not making it again. We share every part of our lives like any married couple would, only without the paperwork. I don't see that as any different than actually being married, and in many ways better.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 8:50 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • i would not all men are assholes just most of them
    jesslovesyou08

    Answer by jesslovesyou08 at 8:50 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Why don't you just feel things out for a little longer and maybe live together for a year or two before you go planning a wedding and baby. You don't know what things are like until you live with that person. He may be there all the time and sleep there all the time but live under the same roof full time and not have another place to go ever so often is a whole different thing. Take it slow momma. Have you spoke with your children about him and how they feel if you marry this guy, or how they would feel if you had another baby or even if they minded if he moved in.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 8:54 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I did. I got married at 19, had my oldest son at 21, and divorced at 23. I met my husband at 26, and I felt much like you, not only had I gone through a divorce, I had started dating again, and after my boyfriend asked me to marry him caught him cheating, and then my parents got divorced....my dad had been cheating. Anyway, I was terrified of getting married by the time I met my husband. We lived together for a year, then we did get married, and have 2 more kids. We've been happily married for 22 years.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 8:55 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I did. I was married to my ex for 11 years and had 3 kids with him. We divorced 5 years ago. I met my husband the next year, we started dating and were married in 2008. He's a wonderful man and an incredible stepdad to my kids. We had 2 more kids together for a total of 5! We have a very full house and things are great!
    I was older and much wiser when I met him. I don't worry about things going wrong with him - I know he is truly the love of my life and we will be together forever.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:53 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • My only advice to you is not to make him a step-dad to your kiddos (legal or implied) unless you know you are in it for good.
    corbysmom531

    Answer by corbysmom531 at 10:01 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Take your time, don't rush into anothermarrriage just because he talks a good game doesnt mean anything.. if it were me he would have to geniuely care formy kids just as much as me mayb more, because it takes a real man to love a reral woman, who takes care of her responsbilties and most of all her children.. marriage is a beautiful thing, but its not to be mistaken for lust or anything like that.. enjoy what you have now and think and talk about marriage when the time comes..
    newedtiondavis

    Answer by newedtiondavis at 11:06 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • dating can be scary, I understanding that. But not all men are the same. Just take your time, get to know each other, talk about everything.
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 11:22 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

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