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is this wrong?

my dd is 4 and her dad hasnt even tried to contact her since she was 1. well about a month ago she started saying my dh was her daddy. and we didnt really think anything of it. i actually thaught it was cute, well yesterday she started calling him daddy. i think its her real fathers loss, he hasnt been around nor has he tried to be a part of her life. but i keep thinking what if someday he removes his head from his anus and decides he wants to be her father. then what? would you tell real father no and let her continue believing her step dad is daddy? should i stop it now? she really does need a daddy right? and my dh loves her calling him daddy. he loves her and does everything a daddy does for her. i just keep thinking about it and am torn at weather i should leave it alone or what?


Asked by cassie_m at 9:07 PM on Aug. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • Your dh now has earned the right to be called daddy. If the other butt wipe shows up one day and wants a name, tell your dd to call him her the sperm doner. LOL...kidding about that part..

    But really, any one can impregnate a takes a MAN to deserve to be called daddy!!!! Dont take it away from the one who deserves it to save it for the ass.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:12 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • No I dont think its wrong that your dd is calling your dh daddy, he is all she knows, and to her he will always be her dad, biological or not...and like you said, it is her bio dads fault. he chose not to have a relationship with her.

    Answer by anikahaynes1 at 9:09 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • No I think that he is her daddy. Biology isn't everything.

    Answer by leah_rai at 9:11 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I wouldn't tell her otherwise. I would let her call your DH daddy and allow her BioDad to be a deadbeat. He doesn't deserve her if he isn't going to be apart of her life from the beginning. When she's older and SHE decides she wants a relationship with her bioDad then so be it, but otherwise I wouldn't encourage it. I think you should encourage what you have no. Your DH being her father, regardless if he's blood related or not. He's the only thing she knows to a father, and that's more important then blood line.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:11 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Does she KNOW he's not her real dad? That might be traumatizing should bio dad show up.... As for calling him dad - its her right call him dad if she wants to. Bio dad can just deal should he come back into the picture.

    Answer by karamille at 9:12 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Honestly who she decides is daddy is up to her. She is too young to understand someone else could be daddy and when/if her biological father comes back into the picture THEN you should explain it to her. But right now, let her do what she feels she needs to. I would also tell your dh that everytime she calls him daddy he gives her a huge hug and kiss and tells her he loves her!!! A real father is there when she needs a bandaide, a hug/kiss or just someone to play dollies with. She's lucky if your dh is there for her!! She has a daddy and that's all that you should worry about!!

    Answer by SlapHappi at 9:12 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • hell no....your hubby is the one taking care of her so she can calll him daddy and her "real" daddy if he comes back whatever she wants when the time comes..but no its not wrong

    Answer by jesslovesyou08 at 9:09 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Her "real" dad doesn't deserve the title. Her stepdad does. It's good that he wants it to be like that. She's very lucky. Blood isn't everything. If her bio dad does pull his head out and shows back up you can explain about the sperm part and let her decide. I'd just go with his first name or something.

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 9:20 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • o, honey its not wrong it just means you picked a good man. And your daughter likes the way he treats her just like a good daddy should treat his baby girl.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 9:20 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • NO- i wouldn't stop her from calling him Daddy- To her he is her Daddy & if your Ex ever does come around he will just have to deal with it- She will find another name for BD if they ever have a relationship- My daughter used to call her BD- " Kelly Daddy " & my husband Daddy- i wouldn't lie to her if she ever questions you about her real dad though- Trust me, in her heart your husband will always be Dad No Matter What-

    Answer by daisyb at 9:21 PM on Aug. 24, 2010