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6 Bumps

Does your DH do this?

DS acts up and I give him a punishment. DH steps in and turns it around into what he feels is "more of a punishment" when it's really something DS enjoys doing. He does this ALL the time and sees nothing wrong with it, then wonders why DS thinks it's okay to misbehave. Why? Because Daddy will step in and save him. I'm sick of it. Anyone else have a pansy of a husband like this? What do you do about it? Talking to him doesn't help. He really just doesn't get it.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Aug. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (15)
  • – collapse
    I'll answer this wierd question when you aren't anon.

    Answer by tryin2BGOOD at 9:46 PM on Aug. 24, 2010 (hidden) + expand

  • No "pansy" here :)

    Answer by pjacademy at 9:48 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Oh yeah! My DH always thinks I'm being nasty when I discipline the kids... But what is funny is when he hits the point where he's dueling it out he goes WAY overboard! He's always one extreme or another...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 9:48 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Nope. Our parenting strategy is never undermine the other. If we have a problem we talk about it when they aren't present and come to a compromise. The minute kids see a crack in the discipline they start chipping away at it. You two need to talk and come up with a solution.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:50 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • You have to talk about this when your kids aren't in the room---you need to agree on the same kind of discipline and stick to it. WHat the heck is with that "pansy" remark? That is a dorky word. And maybe you ARE too hard on him and your DH thinks you should ease up. You CAN discipline with words and not get too harsh.

    Answer by gertie41 at 10:02 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • nope mine is even stricter he may try to make the punishment worse. My friends hubby is like this and their kids are such brats because they know they don't have to listen daddy will save them!

    Answer by hill2 at 10:06 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • My dh is the total opposite. I give out a punishment and he comes home and adds on and a lot of times the kids are on punishment the rest of the day.

    Answer by treynlisa at 10:08 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • No but my MIL does this and it drives me nuts. So when they are mis behaving she gets to do all the punishment. And when she tells me I say its yours all yours. Still waiting on her to get the point lol

    Answer by crazymom21 at 10:35 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • My aunt and uncle have very similar issues. Her children are grown now. Their youngest lives at home with them and his girlfriend, they are allowed to through wild parties at their house, he dropped out of high school, he has access to their checking account and buys whatever he wants...I could go on but you probably get the point. You husband needs to be firm with your son and stop undermining you as a parent. Drag dh to some parenting seminars, go to counseling, whatever you need to do to help him see he needs to be a father and not a best friend.

    Answer by chjack123 at 10:45 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Wow, that would make me so angry I cannot even tell you. As a single mother I don't have to deal with that (which is one of the very rare pluses).

    I suppose I have strong feelings about this issue because my parents were so united in their childrearing decisions. Oh, they argued amongst themselves I'm sure, but when it came to me, they were like one unit. It used to drive me crazy, because I could never win. But that's the way it should be. To this day I find it appalling when I see parents undermining each other in front of their children. It just creates disrespect and confusion, and I believe it can lead to serious issues for the child.

    Answer by tatiana30241 at 11:07 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

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