Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Do you think adoptions should be open?

I was adopted back in the sixties and it was a closed adoption although I now know both parents. Do you think it would be better for the child to have some knowledge of her parents and be allowed to know their names when she reaches 21. And for the mother/father to receive pictures and some information about the child as she grows up.

 
L.A.F.outloud

Asked by L.A.F.outloud at 10:07 PM on Aug. 24, 2010 in Adoption

Level 17 (3,380 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Depends. If the birth mother and the adopted parents want it open then yes but if both want it closed the no. Either way the child that was put up for adoption can always find their birth parents. It's just a lot harder when it's closed.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:15 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • i really cant say cause i never was in that situation but iwatched teen mom with tyler and his gf situation and i try and put myself in they situation and i know that it will just break my heart but at the same time i will be so happy to recieve thos pics and see the baby ..idk thats a tough ? but i do think when they get older that i would like for them to know the real mom and why i choose adoption... (this is a great post)
    mymommasgirl

    Answer by mymommasgirl at 10:10 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Not in every case. One of my adopted nieces, I have 4, had a mom that threatened to kill her. Her name, social, and birth certificate were changed so hopefully she can never be found.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 10:11 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I think the adoptee should be given the BP's info for them to able to find them if they want
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:12 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I was adopted in. The 60's too. I am the other direction. I don't want to know anything about my birth parents. I believe tghat childdren who are adopted need to know and it should be their choice if they want to go any further.
    dragonlady44

    Answer by dragonlady44 at 10:13 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I am very much in favor of open adoption when it is a safe and healthy situation. In a case like treynlisa described, absolutely not! We have open adoptions with both of our kids' birth moms, and we believe that it is healthiest for everyone involved, including us as adoptive parents. There is something really neat about being able to boast about your kid to someone who thinks they are as awesome as you think they are.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 10:16 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I think that medical information should be provided to the family that adopted the child, but I do not think that the name of the bio parents should be revealed if they do not want it revealed. I think that there are some instances that might be too painful. I know a woman who was raped and carried the child and put her up for adoption when the baby was born. She insisted that she did not want to meet the adoptive parents and did not want an open adoption. She didn't have an abortion because she does not believe in that, but she was traumatized the entire pregnancy reliving what happened to her.
    I also have another friend who was adopted himself and for the reason that he was given a chance at life and not aborted feels that parents should hve the choice for a closed adoption. His fear is that if adoptions are forced to be open, some people might chose to abort over adoption.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 10:17 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I think all adoptive parents should be allowed to know who the biological parents are, with contact information. (Updated as the years past) However, I do not think that biological parents should know who the adoptive parents are. Especially in cases where the child was taken away from the biological parent for whatever reason. If the case is that the child and/or adoptive parent wants to come in contact with the biological parents then they should have that right.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:36 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • I think it about personal preference. Some details, such as medical history, should never be kept from the child, and as a matter of law they cannot be in every state I am aware of. The pictures, updates from the adoptive parents, etc., I think should be handled according to the arrangement the birth mother made in the course of the adoption. This is a personal preference and many women feel differently.

    However, I do think that even in a closed or "sealed" adoption, the records should be made available to the child when he turns 18. It is his history and he has a right to know it if he wants to.

    Incidentally, what I have just described is indeed the way the law works these days.
    tatiana30241

    Answer by tatiana30241 at 10:45 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • Not in every case. There may be some cases where a parent gives up a child for adoption because they cannot care for them or choose not tobecause of life choices.
    victoriamom2007

    Answer by victoriamom2007 at 11:11 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN