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2 Bumps

DADS DEALING WITH DEATH

NOT ONLY DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE LOSS OF MY SON BUT HIS FATHER ACTS IS IF LIFE JUST GOES ON. I AM REALLY STARTING TO BELIEVE THAT MAYBE MOTHERS DO LOVE THEIR CHILDREN MORE THAN THE FATHERS (OR MOST FATHERS ANYWAY.) HE WENT RIGHT BACK TO A NORMAL SCHEDULE WHILE I FEEL LIKE DYING. I DONT WANT TO BE AROUND PEOPLE LAUGHING AND JOKING RIGHT NOW. UGH. THE NERVE OF HIM....

Answer Question
 
mandyleigh14271

Asked by mandyleigh14271 at 12:43 AM on Aug. 25, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • im sorryI have no advice but just want to say I'm sorry for your loss. 

    DarkFaery131

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 12:44 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • People deal with grief differently. Don't judge him. It's his way of coping. Condolences on your loss but don't take it out on dad.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:45 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I'm sorry for you loss. Keep in mind that he may be grieving in his own way. When our son died, my husband felt the need to be "normal" in order to be strong for our other son and for me. He felt like he had to hold everything together while I was falling apart.
    Erin814

    Answer by Erin814 at 12:46 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I JUST WANTED TO ADD THAT ME AND FATHER SPLIT JUST DAYS BEFORE OUR BABY'S DEATH. HE WAS AT THE FUNERAL BUT I HAVEN'T HEARD A WORD FROM HIM SINCE. OUR FRIENDS ARE THE ONES THAT TELL ME THAT HE SEEMS FINE. I DONT WANT HIM AS MY OTHER HALF BUT I FIGURED WE COULD HAVE AT LEAST PULLED TOGETHER FOR THIS TRAGIC EVENT. I FELT LIKE NO ONE UNDERSTOOD LIKE HE WOULD BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG....
    mandyleigh14271

    Comment by mandyleigh14271 (original poster) at 12:53 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I know my husband always wants to stay busy and avoid talking about his grief. He was that way with our miscarraiges and the death of his mom and sister. Men and women are just very different that way. The fact that your relationship was already coming apart adds to your grief right now, but unless you tell him you want to spend time and share memories or something, he will never realize his actions are affecting you.
    tiggermom803

    Answer by tiggermom803 at 3:06 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • im sorry
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 6:53 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • When my husband lost his mother, he and I dealt very differently with our grief. I hope for the best for you and the baby's father. I think there is a difference in how people deal with such a loss.
    amw529

    Answer by amw529 at 7:33 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

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