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Step parenting

How do u deal with ur stepchilden hrn they tell u u ar t my parent? I have been with them since before there births.ad I will be the only mom they know. my bf carreid for me and no I ano gointo adopt them.

 
butterflysmom

Asked by butterflysmom at 9:39 AM on Aug. 25, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 12 (922 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My husband raised my son since the age of 4, and my son even saw his biological dad. He never once said that to my husband, he's now 27. I think every case is probably different, but my husband and son developed their own relationship, and naturally became father and son. My husband never treated my son any differently than the two boys we have together, and my son just considers him his dad.

    I'm not sure how you could have been with them since before their births......he must have been with their mother? I don't really understand the circumstances.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:01 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Um, if I could understand what you are trying to type, I would try to help. Sorry
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:49 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • its an uphill battle, my friend. The bioparent almost always took the kid's side even when they were clearly in the wrong. Fortunately I had my own kids to concentrate on and only did what I had to do legally for the stepkid (feed him, etc). He was VERY spoiled and didn't like that I didn't kiss his but like his relatives did. When he moved out it not only made our house more peaceful but gave him a dose of reality and the real world.

    In answer to you, the stepkid will never respect you as anything other than an adult roomate. You have to be stern and stick to your guns and not let them "win". They are testing the waters and trying to usurp any authority you may have and will use there parent against you. Your spouse has to support you somewhat for any of this to work.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 9:43 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Your boyfriend carried for you? So, you're famous and rich?

    I am so confused by this question and the way it is worded/not worded...
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 9:47 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I told my SD when she likes to throw that out to hurt to me: I may not be your parent, however I am an adult and you are in my house. You will treat me and my home with respect by following my rules. If you don't care to do that then you are welcome to wait in your room until your Dad gets home. She choose once to do that, four hours she sat (no tv or video games in there), then Dad got home and chewed her for being mean and disrespectful. Then spent the rest of nite in her room.
    van5

    Answer by van5 at 9:49 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Legally, you are the parent. DNA does not make a parent. I expect my step & adopted children to mind & respect me. I also expect them to mind & respect their step parents. I expect them to mind & respect ALL their elders.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 10:49 AM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Your husband, their dad, needs to stand up for you. My husband is a stepdad to my 3 children from my 1st marriage and I always back him 100%. I have told them that if he asks them to do something, or sets a consequence for not doing something, that it's just like if I had said it. It is the bio parents responsibility to make sure that their kids understand the rules and consequences for breaking them.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:46 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

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