Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Ok so is it wrong of me wanting to go out

I stay at home with the kids all week. I clean and do everything arouond the house.. I want to go hang out with some girl friends on saturday..just to have a girls night..and have some fun.. I told my husband last night i wanted to go out, and he was like no..so i said i wasnt asking him i was telling him i wanted to hang out wiht my friends. I mean i dont understand what the problem is, i never go out..ever...out of the 4 years we have been married (6yrs all together) i might have went out 3 times.. He use to go out all the time, while i was at home with our son, and preg with our daughter.. I mean he stayed gone day and night sometimes... so how do i talk to him, he just gets mad

 
Brittney20

Asked by Brittney20 at 12:26 PM on Aug. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (751 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Go out and have fun, jeez. My husband is the same way. Its always an arguement if I want to go out with my girlfriends. Which is NOT often at all. What he dont understand is, I need adult interaction as well, or Im gonna go crazy. I love my kids, and I love staying home and all that jazz.. But you deserve to have a girls night sometimes, you deserve some adult time or you will go nuts, lol. Im kind of in the same boat, my husband comes home, works on his cars or rides his motorcycle and I have the kids all the time, rarely do anything, and if I do, I take the kids with me. I dont think you'd be wrong at all for going out, getting dressed up or having a couple drinks. As long as you dont go out flirting or whatever, which I doubt is the case, then I dont see the problem. You deserve to have fun and to feel good about yourself. Enjoy your night out mamma.
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 1:16 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • what is he so paranoid about? Does he want to keep you captive in your house? Is he scared you might find a nicer, hotter man who won't try to own you? He is self consciouse, like really bad. And he does not like the idea of you having fun without him...it's pathetic really. I would call him out. I would tell him that he does not own me & that it said now where in my marriage vows that he is in control of my decisions. I would tell him that i did not sign up for a marriage where i have to ASK my Dh's permission to do something innocent. OOOO, I would bitch until i got my way. He is in the wrong %100. You have every right to go hang with your girlfriends every once in a while. It's healthy!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:42 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Hmm it isn't fair at all but you need to approach him as carefully as possible since we all know how men are sometimes temper wise. I'd start by trying to make some kind of compromise for example suggest a night he could go out and you could stay in on a specific day and also a day where you go out and he stays in. Good luck with this situation!
    leah_rai

    Answer by leah_rai at 12:27 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • just go out on saturday and have fun. a relationship is not about control and he should not be telling you no. he should be expressing that he may not like it. you are not his child. you are his wife. you are entitled to a night out just as much as he is.
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 12:28 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Go out. You don't need his permission to go have fun.

    PoisonousBlonde

    Answer by PoisonousBlonde at 12:28 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I had the same problem for awhile, the key is don't ask...tell him. I simply tell my husband a few days in advance I made plans with (xxx) and we are going (xxx). I'm leaving at (xxx) and I should be home around (xxx).
    That's it, he has plenty of time to figure out what he wants to do if anything and there is no question. I'm a big girl.
    Now we've had some serious issues in our relationship - but some of it stemmed from his controlling behavior and my inability to deal with it.
    He still calls or txt's all the time, but I don't mind that - I will usually answer or text back a quick note, but I don't respond every time.
    Definitely enjoy your time out. :)
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:56 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Thats bullshit.. I think you should both be able to do things.. and you definitely shouldnt have to ask.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 12:28 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Oh and if your husband is like mine, he WILL call and text you about a million times, lol. Turn your phone off and just avoid the drama.
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 1:18 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Its not wrong of you to want to go out and spend time with your friends. He's wrong for not wanting you to go out. ...He feels more comfortable with you at home because then he knows where you are but when you leave and go out with your friends, he doesn't know what you're doing...but that's his problem not yours and don't allow him to make you feel bad for wanting to go out and have fun with your friends..everyone deserves a break!
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:14 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Thanks..I told him he could go out saturday, go do whatever he wants.. I have a babysitter for our kids.. I just need some girl time, to talk about stuff. He always treats me like that, telling me no and im sick of it. So i think im going to go out and have a good time..try to he will prob be calling or textin me all night...I stayed at home all the time while he went out, sometimes he wouldnt even call me or tell me when he would be home, or what he was doing. but he is like that..its ok for him to do what he wants,,just not me
    Brittney20

    Comment by Brittney20 (original poster) at 12:32 PM on Aug. 25, 2010