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How would you react? I will make this short and sweet.

DD is 17 has a boy she met that is 16. He came to meet us yesterday as the two of them and some others want to go to Cedar Point(amusement park) on sat. DD's friend and sis were also there. They asked to go up to her room to get online. I said as long as all four of them were going and the door remained open it was ok, they agreed. Later a DD of my friend came down and said the door was closed and DD and the boy were asleep on her bed.Fully clothed and on top of covers. So DH went up woke them up and I told them they were disrespectful and were not allowed up there anymore. Do you think she should be punished? Should I allow her to go sat? I have always trusted her and she had never broken that trust until now.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Oct. 9, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • You're a good mom for having bounderies...Make sure she gets it even though nothing might have happend it was "appearance of evil" Looked wrong bottom line.

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 1:32 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I don't see anything wrong with it. I would just talk to her and ask her next time to keep the door open when a boy is in the room.

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 12:55 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • Honestly, i dont think you should punish her, because that will just make her want to go against you even more, no matter what age she is you should have a talk about why exactly you dont want them up there with the door closed, talk to her about safe sex and all even if you have allready, the talk alone will make her not want to go up there with the door closed, so she'll want to avoid having to talk again, personally when i was 14 i had a 16 year old boyfriend, we were alowed upstairs but not with the door closed we still did stuff, i actally remember a time where all we did was lay in his bed. our parents didnt know. but there was one time when our parents were out together, and we went up stairs closed the door and you know had sex, so id make sure you watch out a little big just come upstairs everyonce in a while or yell up to see what their doing. ya know? Well message me for any more advice

    Answer by SammiTaylorTM at 12:59 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I don't think its that big of a deal. You can punish her, but, it won't keep her from doing something if she is going to anyways.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I'm all for punishment when needed. Even if they rise up against us we need to rise even more. WE are the parents. Decide your bounderies and rules and be Firm. They will learn to respect you.

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 1:34 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • LOL...i've told me kids that I don't have a problem with removing the doors if I feel it gets bad with what's going on. Sometimes we have to take the "Bull by the Horns"

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 1:35 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I have been there done it both ways.My children are 8-10-10-14-19-21-25 an they will turn on you.She was after all asleep an so was he.[right] they must have fallen asleep with the other kids in the room.I wouldnt be to hard on her unless you want it to get worse.I would want her an her friends to hang out at my house.Then you no whats going on.If you are hard on her she wont want to be home an if you dont let her go she will find a way an rebell.Be the mom every one always wanted an get involved with them.Keep them busy with movie night an invite them to come over.Dont be afraid to go sit in the room with them some times an talk silly laugh.You want them to feel comfortable then they will talk around you an you wont have to guess what they are up to.Dont be suprised if the kids dont start hanging around you an she get jealous.That happens to.But atleast you will have the trust of them an they will confide in you.

    Answer by fearful5 at 1:37 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • i think it was innocent enough this time but i would just make clear that it isnt going to happen again or no one allowed in bedroom at all. i have 15yr old and she has boyfriend all the time and times door gets closed when not supposed to i just open it and say if they want to spend any more time together door stays open or it comes off hinges :)

    Answer by wonderpetsmom at 5:03 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I would let her go and tell her that you are not happy that she broke one of your rules but she can go on her trip because she has been good. But next time there will be a punisment and tell her what you mean by that. For my 16 yr girl I would have to take away what she likes the most like her computer and driving.

    Answer by cloverlady2008 at 5:14 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I think it would be best to sit and talk with you DD about house rules and doors being left open. This is a great oppurtunity to share your concerns and give her a little control. She will be allowed to have males over and in her room if the door stays open at all times or she can choose to not have boys over if she is unable to keep the door open, simple as that. Let her make the choice, you set the rules. By the way, I agree with you about having the door opened.
    We have two daughters (20,17) my seventeen year old always has her boyfriend her. They watch movies in her room and eat dinner with the family. I am grateful to be able to spend the time with both of them and the reason it has worked is because we respect each other and up hold our house rules.

    Answer by Paula3teens at 11:11 AM on Oct. 12, 2008