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Daycare Dilemma

My son has been in daycare since april of this year and has cried everyday when it is time to drop him off. We have tried everything to make him like it but he just wont. He has had few bruises that look suspicious, and almost everyday he gets hurt. Yes he is 21 months old and falls alot (takes after me) but i am worried that maybe he isnt happy there for a reason. What sould I do????

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Asked by konnorsmama at 12:35 PM on Aug. 25, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 6 (106 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • trust your mommy gut.... if it says this isn't the right place then it isn't
    I'd have pulled him out as soon as there was more than one incident of bruises the staff couldn't explain, this indicates a lack of awareness or supervision to me

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 12:37 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • The best thing to do is sit down and talk with his teacher. Ask her how he does when your not around? Ask her if he falls alot? Make sure she is aware of your concerns and if you dont get answers you like see the director. If a parent isnt happy its their job to fix it. Daycares are required to give you an incident report for accidents that occur while your child is there. Since he started daycare when he was older that might be why he cries but there might be more to it. Use your mommy instinct if you think something isnt right there investigate it. And remember if you still feel that way look for another daycare. My 14 month old loves her daycare center. But she has been there since she was 8 weeks old. Best of luck to you.

    Answer by navyjen at 12:39 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I would investigate. If you change him to another school and there is nothing "bad" going on. You will just make his separation anxiety escalate.

    My nephew had HORRIBLE separation anxiety and cried for the first YEAR they left him at daycare. He even threw up.

    So I would investigate before I disrupt his routine.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 12:39 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • we had this issue at our day care provider. We found out one day that she didn't watch him , she didn't play with them nothing!! We picked him up early ( by surprise) he was on the floor crying. we picked him up and we never went back! our new daycare provider is amazing! He loves going.

    Answer by Mrs.Ro at 12:40 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • If you sneak in to pick him up, how is he acting?

    DD is sometimes a BIG drama queen when _I_ drop her off. The sitter has actually called me like 5 min later to prove that she essentially stops crying by the time I get to the car. When I've come to pick her up, if I sneak in and she doesn't know I'm there, I can SEE her playing and having a great time. But about half the time she starts crying as soon as she notices me. As far as I can tell it's a bit of a guilt trip or something "OOOOH it's SO horrible here!" when really it's not. I KNOW she has a good time though. She almost never does this when DH drops her off or picks her up, it's just dramma for the mamma.

    That said, if your gut is telling you something's not right, drop in unexpectedly to check on the provider. Call, etc. and whatever else you can think to do to either confirm or put at ease your gut.

    Answer by coder_chick at 12:41 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Does he stop crying as soon as you leave? A lot of kids that age will cry when you drop them off, but stop as soon as you are out of sight. I would ask about bruises when you pick him up. If you are not satisfied with their answers, look for another daycare. My state has daycare inspection reports online, but even if your state doesn't, you might be able to see their inspection reports some other way.

    Answer by andrea96 at 12:41 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Any other day cares new, you might want to swich him, Have you tried to send him with a picture of you and him, I did that with my son and it helped alot.

    Answer by NicholeAT at 12:45 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I would trust your instincts. But with an add to that my child has been at his daycare from 8 months old (now 22) and his record of accident reports could fill a tote. He gets ear infections and we can always tell he has one when I'm signing accident reports everyday. But when there are a lot of accidents the staff bends over backwards to assure me they were watching him and exactly what happened and that they are so sorry they couldn't catch him on time, etc. If I thought for a minute they were being neglectful I would definitly look into it.

    As far as the crying...that happens. He wants his mommy. It might not be the place, but just not being with you. It's good for him though. If you weren't dealing with this now, you will have too when he starts kindergarten.

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 12:48 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • You should make it a point to drop in at unexpected times just to see how he's doing or what he's doing. I used to work at daycare and yes kids do fall and get hurt, but daycare workers are supposed to make an "incident" report to the parent any time their child is involved in an injury/arguement with another child/biting/hitting, etc. even if no mark is left. Your daycare workers should always interact with each child every day and no child should be left alone throwing a tantrum at this age at a quality daycare center. I would investigate any daycare bf you bring your child there and always be very involved in your child's daycare participation. Talk to him/her about their day and what went on that day. When you go to pick up your child, his/her teacher should always have something to say to you about how your child's day went and what they did that day.

    Answer by Kword at 1:20 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Have you spoken to his caregivers about your concerns? That's where i would start.

    Crying at drop off isn't unusual...if he cries and runs to you when you pick up i would be concerned, behavior at pick up can be a much better indicator of the care he recieved during the day.

    Answer by UpSheRises at 1:22 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

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