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My husband insists that I cheat on him. And I dont, never thought about it since weve been together. I heard that if he suggests that I've done it that he's done it himself. Is that true? Also What do I have to do to make him believe me that I havent cheated on him. I hate being called a liar.

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Oct. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • First of all, it's not your job to convince him. Apparently he's insecure and really should take a look at himself and why he's so afraid you would cheat. Also, he seems to have some trust issues. My suggestion, sit down with him and talk this out. Ask him point blank why he thinks you would cheat........etc.
    As far as the if he suggests it, then he must be doing it. That could be it too. I'm not so sure that if he says it he must have done it. Although I do sometimes think "guilty conscience.....why is he so insistant"

    Now, you will probably never convince him that you aren't cheating. If he's stuck on it, he's going to believe it. I hate being called a liar too, but the more defensive you get about it, the more he's going to think you are cheating.

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 1:07 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • trust is the most important thing in a relationship. as for him doing it... most people say its the guilty conscience, i have also heard that when cheaters cheat, they look for what they do to cover it up... like saying they worked late or had to help a client... so when their SO does those things they jump to the conclusion... "thats my excuse when i am unfaithful, so she must be doing the same thing."

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • i had this problem and i at first done everything to make it appear that i wasn't cheating. i didn't go anywhere, watched who i talked to and even quit one job cause a lot of men were hitting on me and i didn't want him to find out. i finally had enough and threatened to leave. he new i was serious. after that he calmed down. no he wasn't cheating he was the one that always got cheated on.that is why he was insecure. i told him that if he couldn't trust me then we have no relationship. it will never end until HE decides hes had enough and trust you.have a serious talk and tell him you may leave if it doesn't stop. that is probably what you will have to do unless you want the same argument over and over. its no way to live. i told mine " if you keep accusing me i may as well do it to prove you right". good luck and hopefully he will change or you will have the courage to find someone that trust you.

    Answer by marykaysauer at 1:23 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • From my personal experience, this IS the case. My ex-husband accused me Every day of cheating on him. One day, I had enough and said it was over. I reached the final breaking point and said that if he didnt trust me, then it was finally over, i just wouldnt deal with it anymore. Turns out, he was the one cheating on me for 3 months with a girl I didnt like whom he INSISTED I be friends with. The rebound guy would accuse me of doing drugs when he was the one with the drug problem... (I mean I smoked pot and that is all... HE popped all sorts of pills and did cocaine) Anyways, I got out of that one too. Seems to me the guilty project they're guilt onto others as a way of feeling better about themselves. I'm in a much better relationship now.

    Answer by Kelly_n_Payton at 1:24 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • It seems to me that there is more going on in your marriage than your
    husband thinking you are cheating on him...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • sometimes that's true cause they have a guilty conscience but it's not always the case. he may really suspect that and runs it over in his mind over and over again. the best thing to do is tell him that his cheater called you and told you that he cheated with her and see if he then admits to it. that is it you really want to know. if it were me i he told himself he would never do it again then i would not want to know. i would also consider why he is thinking this and if you feel that he would do that then you most likely do have a cheater in your bed with you. that sucks.

    Answer by melody77 at 1:54 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • He might be doing something and may feel guilty. You should talk to him if HEs the one cheating!

    Answer by sweet824 at 8:53 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

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