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2 Bumps

Would you rather go to a nursing home or have your children take care of you?

My mom and I were talking abou this over the weekend. She said theres no way she'd want to burden us kids with having to take care of her. She said she'd rather go stay in an assisted living facility or a nursing home if it ever came down to her not being able to fully take care of herself. She said that she would never let me wipe her butt,LOL.
I'm glad we had that conversation because I always assumed that if something were to happen to her, I'd take care of her.
I think when I get old...I'd rather go into a nursing facility too..but I'd want my children to make sure I wasn't getting abused and I'd want them to visit me often. I wouldnt want them to give up thier life to take care of me...but visits would be least once a week. Some of those poor residents at nursing homes never get visits and its so sad.:(
I'd visit my mom..even if she ended up with dementia and not knowing who I was.


Asked by kimberlyinberea at 12:56 PM on Aug. 25, 2010 in

Level 29 (39,262 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • Being 67, I will be facing that "maybe". I feel just like your mom. I would never make my kids have that added responsibility. It's not fair to the child, or at times the mom. So assisted living or a nursing home for me. I would want my kids to check it out and vist to be sure I was getting good care......Glad you and your mom had that talk, my DD and I have also had that little talk...


    Answer by zbee at 2:43 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Neither, just leave me in my house with peanut butter, jelly, bread, can of pistachios, fresh fruits and I'll be a happy little camper till I die.

    Just Kidding, honestly I'm really not sure. I'd love to be with my family yet I wouldn't want to be a burden on them.

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 12:59 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • an assisted living facility. my grandma has told me the same..they have even put money aside to if something were to happen it would be paid for. My dads mom on the other hand i don't know what would happen she has no insurance and just lives day by day..i wouldnt want to take care of anyone but really...what happens to someone who has nothing and nobody?

    Answer by shay1130 at 1:01 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • 25 years ago when my grandmother died, my grandfather came to live with us and he still lives with my mom and dad. I've been to nursing homes and seen a lot of sadness there and there's always a huge risk of mistreatment. And they are not cheap - medicare doesn't pay for it - they can run through the entire estate of your parents. If it's at all possible I would go for family first - although some families would be more uncaring than the "professionals" in these places.

    Answer by amw529 at 1:01 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Nursing home, my family cared for my grandmother until they just could not physically care for her any longer. It was HARD and put a strain on my mom and dad, their relationship, finances.

    I dont ever want my kids to feel guilty or pressured. Just come visit me :) :)

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 1:03 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I would Never want my Son to be burdened with me in any way. It took so much for me to finally have him that I want him to the Happiest Peron on earth and I want him to live his life raising a family of his own and enjoying every minute of it. I would want to go to an assisted living if I could no longer care for myself. I would also like the companionship of others my age.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:05 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I don't know right now, it depends how nurturing my kids and their spouses are as adults and if they would have time and room for me. I might rather go to a nursing home with skilled attendants and everything they would need for my care on site. Would depend on my specific health problems and my children's willingness and ability to care for me. My DD who is 5 says she is going to take care of me when I am old. My mom cared for her mom for the last few months of her life and we spent a lot of time with them and so that is the model she thinks is normal.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:13 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I hope that I will be able to take care of my Mother at home. I saw my Grandma in a nursing home and it broke my heart. The died when they gave her a medication that she was allergic to despite her stating she was allergic to it. It is written in her records that that is what happened. She was in a nice facility but nurses were coming and going and it was not the same care that you would get from someone you love. I took care of my Grandma before I joined the Navy and it was not a burden and taking care of my Mother would never be a burden either. I hope my kids think the same way.

    Answer by Melbornj at 2:57 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I hope to die in my sleep in my own home still in complete command of all my faculties and hopefully gotten to witness my boys achieve happiness at last and get married and have kids of their own

    Answer by Zoeyis at 4:56 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • IDK. I hope i just die before i reach a point where i can no longer take care of myself.

    Answer by UpSheRises at 1:01 PM on Aug. 25, 2010