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How do you get over the hurt and let them back in?

a few months ago my fiance cheated on me ive forgiven him for it but i cant seem to let go and not bring it up. how do i do that and does anyone know where i can go to talk to someone about this. other then taking it out on him because its not fair to him when he wants to work thru it and get past it. pls help me out.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Aug. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • do you forgive him? Have you forgave your self for being upset about it? The best thing to try is to writing it down on a notebook , (your feelings) instead of taking them out of him. If you have the money to afford it , go to a engaged/ before marriage counselor.

    Answer by Mrs.Ro at 3:25 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Personally I could never forgive and forget someone who cheated on me.
    If they've cheated once they lost their chance with me.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:26 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I had a fiance who cheated on me, the fact that he could cheat on me before we were even married made me feel that he probably wasn't ready to get married, even though he insisted he was. I couldn't go into the marriage knowing he'd already cheated on me.

    If you are sure you want to marry him, I sure wouldn't do it until you were able to work through this. If you have a church, you might try going there for some counseling. But, whatever you do, don't get married unless you feel you are truly over it, and able to trust him again.

    Good luck!

    Answer by ohwrite at 3:29 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I know I could never forgive my husband for cheating on me....but there are men and women who have forgiven and moved on without ever bringing it up again....but the one thing that would always be in the back of my mind when it comes to a cheating partner is...would you do it again and if so am I willing to forgive it again? Anyway, if you want to move on, letting go of it and trusting him again is the key...once you learn how to do that then you can have your relationship with him but one thing for sure no one can tell you how to do it, its up to you to want to do it!

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:33 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Honestly I am way too jealous to forgive something like that. It would haunt me forever and it wouldn't be fair for him or me to have to deal with that the rest of our lives. I guess that is just me. I sometimes wish that I was not like that.

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:52 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • 'A few months ago' is not very long at all. He's quite a lucky man that you are so committed to forgiving AND forgetting. I know my insurance will 100% cover therapy if it's related to depression or anxiety. You may wanna check out that route first to see if yours does as well. Otherwise I hear church's offer free counseling. Maybe you can even find a support group on-line or in your area for partner's of cheaters.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 3:57 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

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