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2 Bumps

DH just wants to gripe about work and I just want a quiet relaxing evening

He wants to vent and vent and vent and I so don't want to hear it, but if I don't then "I'm not there for him"...erg....

Ever have those "just gotta suck it up moments?"
looks like I'm in for a fun filled evening of yet more drama, like the kids dont provide that all day for me. Lovely


Asked by Zoeyis at 6:10 PM on Aug. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Sounds like your DH's love language is "to be listened to" . My DH is the same way, it is very important to him if I listen to him and what he has to say. DH also bitches about work and it bores me but I listen because its important to him if I listen. If he wants to go on, and start all over again then I change ths subject. Hang in there....

    Answer by Esmrlda at 7:11 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • My husband made a deal about this issue many many years ago. Here it is.

    When he first comes home from work. We sit and talk, this is when he talks about his day at work, he vents about work, whatever.. Everything that has to do with work is discussed in this conversation. The conversation usually last about 30 minutes (really really bad days can last up to 1 hour).. Once this conversation is over. It's over. Work is no longer discussed that day/evening. The rest of the evening is for relaxtion/fun/ and just being together without outside stressers.

    That way, he gets everything off his chest, I'm "there for him" and listening like a good supportive wife (lol), and then once it's done it's done and we go about our day/evening on the "good foot" (as he likes to call it..)


    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:38 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • or you could ask him if he would like to discuss it while you "took care of him" after a couple minutes he might forget about work and when he is done he may just go to sleep.

    Answer by sahlady at 6:14 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I'm sorry. I have to tell you thought that I appreciate my DH sharing his day with me. I receive the same consideration from me. IDK, it makes me feel more connected to him.

    Answer by Scuba at 6:15 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • try giving him a back something to try to get his mind off work...

    Answer by TezMoM at 6:17 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • sarcasm


    Answer by mywonderyears at 6:12 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Roles are reversed here. I have a job that sucks so bad that I asked my dh to not ask me how my day was. I need someone to listen to me at times....

    Answer by QandA at 6:12 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • ask him if he would like to discuss it over a drink... it might take the edge off of him.

    Answer by sahlady at 6:13 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • You're lucky he talks to you about work. Mine doesn't like to cause I try to fix what ever things he's bitching about. Like one person in particular. I think we can get rid of her. She brings down the whole moral of the entire company (he's military). Problem is, her rank. He swears no one can do anything. I swear he's wrong.
    Maybe you guys can come to a compromise as to how long he can gripe about work. And while he is griping, give him a back massage, give him a beer if he drinks beer ( I keep trying to type bear), something to relax him. But he's got to get it off his chest so he CAN relax. It's important. It's awesome he's coming to you, and not going out like to a bar or something. But, I know, it gets on your nerves when it's every day. I do get sick of hearing about this individual at hubby's work, when no one will do anything about her.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 6:32 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • if it totally drove me nuts i would say man up. yea that would hurt his feelings but only cause he knew it was true. i really hate it when my hubby grips. it just looks so bad on him.

    Answer by melody77 at 6:37 PM on Aug. 25, 2010