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2 Bumps

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

I have been a stay at home mom for 4 years and have 3 sons and a new baby due in March. I have a monthly income coming in. My SO told me friday that I have a month to find a job or my oldest two and I have to move out and it will be over between us. I found out yesterday that he told everyone a month ago that if i didn't have a job by Augest 15th that he was leaving me. Since our fight on friday hes been hiding his cell phone at night deleting all his messages and isnt treating me the same. Should I stay or should I go? He told me if i leave he will take my 7 month old son away from me because I don't work and I have bipolar( haven't been hospitalized since I was in my teens)

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mommyof4cutekid

Asked by mommyof4cutekid at 7:38 PM on Aug. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (67 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • Honestly, I'd get a job and leave. It sounds like he doesn't deserve you.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:40 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • You asked what I would do.... so what I would do is LEAVE.
    If I had children by a man and he never bothered to marry me I wouldnt have stayed.
    I would plead with my parents to take me in until I could get on my feet. I would take him to court to get child support.
    I would NEVER put up with a man that didnt love me enough to marry me, treat me like a queen, value our family.
    BUt that is me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Well, is he frustrated the you refuse to work because the family needs money to survive?
    Or he is he just being an ass because he wants to end it with you and this is a great opportunity?
    Only you know all the details but if you plan to leave him make sure you take ALL your kids with you.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 7:41 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • WHOA! Can you say asshole!? He can't take away any of your kids,don't worry. I'd be gone in a heartbeat from this guy! Holy moley! Find someone to help you leave and get an order of protection for you and your kids.
    Good luck hon.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:41 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • My husband did something similar. I found a job but he is complaining about other things now such as having to pick up his son from school since I can't because I am at work. Once I get some money saved up, I am leaving. Do you have family that you can live with until you can get back up on your feet?

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 7:42 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • If you are on your meds and going to the doc and proving you are well, dont worry about the bipolar disorder. A guy I work with told the court his soon to be ex wife was on a lot of meds and the judge asked if they came form the doc. When he said yes, the judge told him thats what they are for!
    Casumael

    Answer by Casumael at 7:42 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Well, or you could ask if he's recently started taking some kind of medication.

    He sounds like he's got other plans... probably with another person. Ask. You never know --getting it out into the open might have some effect.

    I'd say that you have no control over what he does, but he can't 'throw' you out of the house you're currently in. Not without ending up with the police down his neck, anyhow.

    I'm a nasty, unhelpful creature, and I'd suggest to him that if he wants to go somewhere, he should do that, but not to expect me to get up and move because he's having a pissy fit. One of my favourite answers to nonsense like that is 'sounds like a personal problem to me.'

    Parents with no current evidence against them do not lose custody because of mental health issues that are under control...

    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 7:42 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • OMG you poor thing. What a jerk! He cant take any of your kids away. Courts always favor the mother unless you're abusive, an addict, etc. You and the kids need to cut your losses & get out. He could be cheating on you as well, since he's being so secretive & so quick to give up on your relationship. Kick the a%^hole to the curb. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. (Or as g-ma says, there's a Jack for every Jill) Good luck.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:43 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I would leave !!! no one would talk to me like I would have left when he said it there is no reason for anyone to put up with that and s far as him taking your 7 month old he in court he can't take him without good reason and bipolar isn't as long as it is managed and not out of control (my ex step dad was out of control ) mine is managed lol
    msh88

    Answer by msh88 at 7:45 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I will never leave any of my kids behind. We would have more then enough money to survive if he would take back everything that we dont need that hes renting at rent a center. That costs over 100 dollars a week Im not refusing to work as i am also going to school to better all of our lives. He says he doesnt want to end it with me but deep down I think he does. I just dont know what to do. He has told me that if I leave him and go for child support that he would take my youngest from me and try to take the baby im pregnant away from me too because he doesnt think I can handle all the kids yet I sit at home 24/7 and take care of them by myself as he works from 5:30 am- 5 pm and then either goes to football practice or goes fishing.
    mommyof4cutekid

    Comment by mommyof4cutekid (original poster) at 7:45 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

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