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2 Bumps

Am I a Nagging Wife or Is It Time For Him to Grow Up?

I have an amazing amazing husband. We've been together for about 11 years, he is an artist, which is part of what attracted me to him, so he has an eye for action movies and VIDEO GAMES...(getting to the point, LOL). Ever since I met, got with him, got engaged to him, moved in with him, etc...I've known him to love him some video games. He helps around the house, especially with chores I despise, he's awesome with all three kids, handles the household and finances with me equally, BUT he is obsessed with his video games. He's sweet to me, compliments me, we have a great sex life...But he's slacking in the actual ROMANCE department. He has no problem organizing, planning, shopping and playing new games, but he can't put forth the same effort to make me feel special, sexy and appreciated. What can I do or say to have him show me some romance without being a kill-joy for him?


Asked by Rathgeber3 at 11:22 PM on Aug. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (63 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I agree with talking to him about it, but it might help to have an idea of exactly how he can be more romantic. Maybe set up a couple nights a week when he won't play video games but will have a movie or date night with you once the kids are in bed, and as encouragement it helps to follow it up with some of that great sex life. But I also wouldn't expect him to give up the video games altogether, as you said it has always been a hobby, and everyone needs some down time and even alone time. There are a lot of worse things he could be doing for a hobby then playing video games after helping with the kids and chores all day. I totally see where you are coming from and I understand why you feel the way you do, I'm just saying I wouldn't blow it up into a huge issue. I'm sure you can reach a compromise you are both happy with.

    Answer by MaryMW at 11:48 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • I would rather have the one who does then the one who is good at romance. JMO He takes care of the kids helps around the house and pays bills? He sounds okay again JMO

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:28 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • You need to tell him what you are needing and wanting.

    Sometimes, our partners are showing us romance and appreciation, just in "their" way, and we don't always get it.. Just like we sometimes do things for our partners because we feel it shows how we feel, and sometimes they just don't get it.. lol...... Lots of couples have this issue at one time or another.

    So, talk to him. See if to him he does feel that he is romancing/expressing his apprectiation for you in a way that just isn't what you are wanting or looking for. Or may even not recognize as such. And if he's not.. Then this conversation is muc needed anyway and you can tell him what types of things you view/interpet as him showing you appreciation/romance, and you can learn what he views/interpets as such.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 11:36 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • tell him how you feel, he will put in the effort.

    Answer by cassie_m at 11:30 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel.

    Answer by hsmominky at 11:32 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • i would just plan a date if you dont have any one to leave the children with this can be a problem,but if you have some one to watch them by all means do it. my husband and i have four children,and with out are date night,not really sure where we would be.we go somewhere the bar is our chose,cause we can pretend to not know each other and talk and laugh and flirt and possibly have a one night stand....with your husband it fun,then we wake up in the morning and resume are daily activities.
    Tamara L.

    Answer by Tamara L. at 11:52 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Talk to him!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 12:13 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • My SO lacks in the romance department. Always has and always will, Yes, there are some men that like to play video games. Nothing wrong with that unless they ignore the family in the process. If he still help you out around the house and finances. Why don't you mention that you would like to ship the kids off one night and give him a night with just the two of you, see what he thinks, the reaction is all you will need.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:08 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Nagging wife you are. lol seems like he does almost everything a wife would want. They wont do everything we want, to me it seems like u got it pretty good. Good luck anyways.

    Answer by Lisa_Lynn at 7:36 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Romance is overrated. The only reason you even give a shit about such crap is because society tells you to. The dude sounds awesome; get over your preconceptions and recognize that all the stuff he does for you IS his way of showing you he thinks you're special and sexy, and that he appreciates you.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:45 AM on Aug. 26, 2010