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How would you start talking after 2 years?

My dad had stopped talking to me a week before I was married. I have 1 daughter whom always asks about him, and we had another child within them time he has not talked to me. He has never met the 2nd child, nor has any of his family since they all stopped talking to me also. I just need some closure on our relationship. I need to write him a letter to heal. But I honestly don't even know how I should do it. Tell him exactly how this has made me and my child feel? Or sugar coat things?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:26 AM on Aug. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Be honest. Tell him about the hurt & the pain. Tell him about your children, if he doesn't answer you've got the peace of mind...
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 7:28 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I'd advise against a letter. Show up in person, or at worst, call. Sugarcoat for sure if you hope to heal the relationship, as you should, because he is family (some circumstances are against healing the relationship, but you haven't mentioned any of these.) I'd simply say that you missed talking to him and that his grandchildren would like to get to know him. Be pleasant. If he doesn't want to continue the conversation then politely say goodbye. If you are there in person you can touch his shoulder or maybe get a hug in. Let him mull over the meeting, he might come around.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:34 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Honesty is the best policy in life! Be true to thine ownself... It is better to move on and let go after you deal with this situation. Be truthful with him but don't be spiteful, let him know how his grand kids are doing and also let him know one of them has been asking about him. I wish you the best of luck with this situation.
    BobbieJo286

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 8:01 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Could you write the letter and not send it? Maybe just writing out your feelings would bring you closure. I would not want you to give him any sick satisfaction that he hurt you by laying all your feelings out there.
    smushy79

    Answer by smushy79 at 8:47 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I wish you luck in finding closure or even in repairing the relationship that you have. I attempted to mend mine with my father after a 14 yr separation and I was the only one putting the effort in. After almost a year of that I decided that I needed to move on and if I had survived 14 years I would survive the rest of my life. It has been 4 years since I last spoke to him and I don't plan to in the future. I really hope that you can decide what will help you heal.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 9:45 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • OP HERE:

    Thanks everyone. I decided that I would write him a sincere heartfelt letter, so I did. It turned into a novel. I sent it out in the mail today with a picture of our new DD. Thanks again everyone =)
    ali_1107

    Answer by ali_1107 at 6:34 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I hope you get a response. Or the one you are looking for anyway.

    My dad didn't talk to his parents for 10 years. It took illness to bring them back together. My dad called and they started talking like the past never happened. I won't say it was the BEST way to handle it. But I think a clean start was needed since if they started talking about who did what and how they were hurt by it... they probably wouldn't have gotten very far.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 1:01 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

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