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should i pick up my DD?

Her dad & i have never had a set schedule with our DD. We share custody, he works a lot & has crazy schedules, so she is usually with me. He picked her up from school yesterday, but she calls me from his house @ 9 PM crying because she misses me so much. So, i told her not to wrry that i would pick her up from school today. BUT, i get a text from dad this AM, saying "I would like to pick her up again today" Granted, before yesterday, she has not been over there for almost 2 weeks. But, she never complains about that. Her dad never called, I'm not going to drop her off where she is not being asked for. Anyhow, i have an overwhelming sad feeling about not picking her up from school today. Am i just being an over emotional mother? I know she is going to end up calling me crying because i didn't get her. She is 8 1/2. Should i pick her up? Or just get over my emotions & let her go with dad? I know she will not do homework, uhh...

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Asked by samurai_chica at 7:55 AM on Aug. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 35 (74,081 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You told her you would pick her up, so you should be the one to pick her up. Call her dad and tell him you will pick her up. Talk to her and see why she was crying and then maybe you can take her to her dad's after she spends some time with you.

    Answer by Cindy18 at 8:09 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I would go to the school and meet dad there. You told her you would pick her up you need to be there. Call dad before hand and let him know what happened and you both need to talk with DD and find out what the problem is. I think I'd want to know why your daughter is crying her eyes out at 9 at night and dad doesnt know about it.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:16 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I would have a talk with your ex. It's great that he wants to be more involved, but I think your daughter needs to know exactly what to expect. Like, her father picks her up on Mon, Tues, and Friday. It's set, always the same and she knows when she leaves in the morning who will pick her up that afternoon. If his schedule changes, just make sure your daughter knows too. I think this will make her more comfortable.

    Answer by mompam at 8:20 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • We can't do set schedules because of his work. It's nearly impossible.

    She was crying becuase she missed me. It always happens when she is over there. she lays in bed & realizes she misses her mommy & calls me at 9 PM. Meeting him there is a god idea, he will be pissed though. There is a good chance she will see me, then not want to go to dads house. He told me that they talked this morning, so she knows he is going to pick her up.

    Comment by samurai_chica (original poster) at 8:32 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Ooh, that's a tough one. I think you should do what you told her you would do and at least show up. You want her to have confidence in what you tell her. Is he a jerk or do you think he really talked with her? Maybe seeing you will give her some comfort and she will then be able to go with him as originally planned. Can you go do something with her and THEN take her back to her Dad?

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 8:55 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • If you told her you would be there, then you ahve to go. Call her dad and tell him you are picking her up. If she cries at his house all of the time then there is something wrong, I would figure it out before I let her go over there anymore, JMO.

    Answer by momof3josephs at 9:05 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • If you told her you would be there, then you have to be don't want her to not be able to believe you when you tell her something. You can talk to her and take her to dad's house if that's where she suppose to be.

    Answer by SherryL at 1:18 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • You told her you would pick her up. Even small things like that mean a lot to a child when you don't keep your word. She wants to be with you. Her father will just have to understand that. She is old enough to decide where she wants to go and who she wants to be with. It's a lot of turmoil being bounced around like she is...little ones need to feel secure in where they are, no matter how old.

    If he wants to see her more often then he'll have to figure out a work schedule that is more suitable to a child. If not he just has to understand she needs the security of regular hours and a regular place to stay. As she gets older she may be able to adjust better but at this age she really is still a little kid who needs her Mama.

    Answer by StRita at 1:49 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

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