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Am I kidding myself?

Do you think this will work, or fall to pieces? I've been dating a guy for 4 months. He is kind and generous, fixed my car, picked up a new frig and installed it, takes me out all the time, etc. However, he is completely non-affectionate, has made comments about me being too affectionate. And he does not like animals. My dog and cat mean the world to me. I mean, he thinks it's gross to pet them. Should I give this more of a chance, or are these deal-breakers?


Asked by hopelessnance at 4:46 PM on Oct. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Level 3 (20 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • This honestly sounds like a deal-breaker because can you imagine being with him in long lasting relationship where you couldn't hug or kiss him? Aside from the animal affection issue. It doesn't bode well for a long-term relationship. No matter how generous or helpful he is. You can always pay someone to fix your car or pick up a frig. Love and affection are so fundamental. And he even admits upfront he has a problem with it. It will only get worse once the "infatuation" wears off. And he'd always be bothered by your pets.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 4:52 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • That's a tough one, but he sounds like a good guy! Have you talked to him about your concerns? Is he willing to compromise?


    Answer by JenNAY3 at 4:51 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • are you the type that wants affection?sound so. do you love your animals? sounds like it. does he not want them around at all? if not and you want affection it would be a deal breaker for me. most men are nice in the beginning but oyu have to have more then that to sustain a relationship. i know i couldn't be with someone that wasn't affectionate. mabey date someone that can do all of those things. there are a lot of men that are affectionate and like animals.

    Answer by marykaysauer at 4:52 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • it depends on what you want out of the relationship. It can work if you want to keep it as is.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:52 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • yes it does sound like a tough one, cuz he seems really nice, but thinks its even gross to pet an animal, i think u should give it some more time to get to know him, cuz like they say all guys r nice in the beginning, so they will help u out with things like that. get to know him first cuz if ur views r different now, emagine what else u'll find out and i think men that love animals r really sweet guys, the ones that don't likethem to much turn out to be mean selfish men.. my opinion...

    Answer by heavensent1174 at 4:59 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • When my husband & I were d8ng, he ws the same way & still is 2 a point bc he grew up w/ his parents not showing alot of affection 2ward ea other. As far as him doing 4 u, maybe that's his way of showing it. i would talk 2 him & b honest about ur feelings & c what happens. Maybe try meeting him halfway & back off a little bc it could b that bc it's only been 4 months, he's feeling pressured. As far as pets, mine said WE'D NEVER HAVE A CAT" bc he's more of a dog person but when our oldest daughters gf asked if we wanted a kitten, it took all of 2 hrs. 4 him2 warm up 2 him. Now Patches follows him everywhere lol lol. Hope this helps, good luck!

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 5:00 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • sounds like he is a good guy but also sounds like deal breakers i mean im guessing you have kids since ur one this site, what happens when he decides he doesnt like them? it sounds to me like you should get out now on good terms if you stay in it to long your gonna fall and these deal breakers will cause majr problems in the long run and you will end up hurt

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 5:01 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • Patches just wlkd in2 the lr & my husband automatically pikd him up lol lol!!!!! Sucker!!!

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 5:01 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • Can you send him to me I'll take him LOL JK Im not that affectionate either but my DH does jack crap around the house and I have to bug him to do things like fix my car and stuff

    Answer by mscamp0235 at 5:22 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • Well you gotta do whats right for you, but i know my pets would be deal breakers. I dont require my boyfriends to like my pets, or show affection to my pets, but they sure as hell have to accept that my pets arnt going anywhere.

    Answer by Pudge_Pie20 at 7:40 PM on Oct. 9, 2008