Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

child custody

i am so confused about what to do. my now ex husband ( as of sept 22 ) left me 6 months pregnant for another girl, they got married tuesday and i found out she is pregnant now. mind u he left me on my birthday ( sep 3) . so i have been dealing with all of this mess for only a month. my problem is that if he doesnt get his way, or if i make decisions without him he keeps threatening me saying that he is going to take me to court and try to get custody of my baby and that i will have to pay child cupport. i would like to give him visitation but he wants 50/50 custody and he is to irresponsible to have that kind of responsibility. plus he freaked out when i said i was changing my name back and giving him my maiden name. what can i do in my situation??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:49 PM on Oct. 9, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (6)
  • It is highly unlikely that he would get custody, unless he can prove you are unfit. You can put whatever name you want on the birth certificate. To me, the fact that he remarried and got his new wife pregnant within a month of leaving you shows his irresponsibility and immaturity, but that would be up to a judge. I would say he will probably only get visitation, I don't see him getting even 50/50 custody, much less full. See if you can find a lawyer that will handle your case pro bono or at least give you some advice, and just try to relax. I know that's easier said than done, but stress isn't good for the baby.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 5:05 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • If i were you i would actually take him to court. If he is unresponsible then you have nothing to worry about. I took my first sons dad to court and i got full custody but i chose to give him visitation only if i was around just because i wanted him in my sons life. He didnt like that so i chose to let his mother take him to the visitations and that was were i made my mistake. Now i have lost my son and i'll never get him back. I hope you make the right decision. Good luck
    K_Rizzle

    Answer by K_Rizzle at 5:10 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • beat him to the court house first! they always side with the parent that files first. which is bull shit in some cases.
    tnteaton

    Answer by tnteaton at 5:16 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • also, most judges like to see the children stay with the mother.
    tnteaton

    Answer by tnteaton at 5:17 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • as little as the baby is even if joint costudy is awarded standard visitation depending of state is usually followed with a newborn where i live it is usually a few hours a few days a week and absolutly no overnights. this is usually so the child has a good routine, and takes the time to bond. If a newborn is picked up on friday and taken to a new environment with people he is unfamiliar with it is not considered stable for their development. I am a stepmother of a four year old, however his mother is really laxed and we have had him pretty much half the time, we take care of his doc visits and everything, unfortunatly for him she isnt nearly as active of a mother and seems to have better things to ocupy her time, for example when he was about 3 months old she left him with my husband for 3 weeks. Different situation though. go to your states website. they will have info.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • thats a hard question. make urself look very very responsible, having a job, a place to live, a plan for taking care of the baby, have ur family helping out a lot. i would say dont even talk to him to tell him things like ur planning on changing ur name back he doesnt need to know. just do whatever u can to keep ur child ask a lawyer what u can do him abandoning u should already have things in ur favor
    Butterflysky_24

    Answer by Butterflysky_24 at 11:59 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.