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To what extent do you control who your child is friends with?

 
Kisses4Henry

Asked by Kisses4Henry at 10:41 AM on Aug. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,727 Credits)
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Answers (14)
  • My oldest is 10 yrs old. For right now, I've never had to "ban" a friend. I just talk to my son about choosing people he hangs around.I tell him that it is important to try not to judge people however, when choosing other kids you want to hang around, you have to be careful what kind of people you surround yourself with. We have long talks about it, because it is one subject he does have many questions about..it can be confusing for him.But I'm glad he comes to me and we talk about this.
    I don't think I would try to control him when it comes to who he chooses to hang around, rather I try to teach him the basics of right and wrong and how to keep out of situations that are no good for him. So in the long run, he can just make good choices about friends for himself.
    And some friends that seem to be "no good" sometimes just need a good friend to help them...as long as it doesnt pull you under while your trying to help them.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:10 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I let them be friends with whoever they wish.. but if I find that the child is a "bad influence".. I stop it. My girls are still young though
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:41 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • My daughter is 5 so I have control over who she is friends with outside of school. When she was three she had a friend that was mean and I ended the relationship. When she is older she will understand more what she wants in a friend then she can make her own choices.
    Mommy2Gabrielle

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 10:46 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I dont. But If I find out that the kid, or even the parents of the child is an bad influence, I wont let them hang out. But they can talk on the phone & be friends all day long.
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 10:42 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Not at all.

    I controlled whose home they were allowed to visit. If I thought their friends (and, more importantly to me, their friend's parents) were flaky, dangerous or questionable, they had to play at our house. That was very often suitable to the kids invited over, because they preferred the freedom, free food and lack of shouting at children that was available at our house, anyhow...
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 10:42 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I figure as long as she follows our rules and doesn't do something just because a friend did it then she can be friends with whoever she wants. It's about her knowing right from wrong and making her own choices, not throwing away her good sense because some other kid said something would be fun. But she's only five right now, so that's not really came up.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 10:43 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • We didn't have any trouble with the kids my boys liked. I was a little more protective and asked a lot more questions of those who asked about sleepovers, etc. I would visit first for a play date.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 10:44 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Right now my daughter is only 3, but she can be friends with who she wants. Like others have said, if I find her friend or friend's parent is being a bad influence, her and her friend will only be able to play at my house,
    victoriamom2007

    Answer by victoriamom2007 at 10:45 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I don't control who they friends with. Like LindaClement said, I do control where they hang out though. I try to encourage more play dates and away from school activities around the kids that are of better influence.
    Jessica157

    Answer by Jessica157 at 10:48 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • My boys are older 18, 21 & 27, I never controlled who they were friends with...to be honest I don't think you really can, but I did have a say over where they spent time with their friends. If I knew and trusted the parents they could spend time at both of our homes, if I trusted the kid as they got older they were able to do some unsupervised things with their friends, and some friends had to hang out at our house to socialize. Some of those friends I wasn't too sure of.....still do........
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:02 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

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