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How do you parents deal with sibling rivary? ages 10 and 11

I love my girls unconditionally.!! my kids are very competive with each other. they will bicker over anything so petty. I need advice Thanks!

Answer Question
 
diamondsarecool

Asked by diamondsarecool at 11:25 AM on Aug. 26, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 16 (2,942 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • When me and my sister used to fight (bicker) my mom would send us to our rooms which were right next to each other and we'd eventually get bored and open our doors so we could talk lol. She also said her mom used to put her and her sister on opposite sides of a glass door and make them stare at each other until they both started laughing or smiling at each other lol.
    MamaSarah1104

    Answer by MamaSarah1104 at 11:28 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I will tell you - me and my sister were that close in age and both SO opposite that we bickered too - there is not much my mom could have said to make us stop - different personalities and being prehormonal girls anyway is a hard thing to deal with.. I say DRINK lol!!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:29 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • If it's any consolation they'll probably grow out of it. :-) Me and my sister did. :-) and actually it even calmed down quite a bit by the end of our high school years lol.
    MamaSarah1104

    Answer by MamaSarah1104 at 11:32 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • We had three rules at our house, but only 2 apply to this issue:

    2. With respect, always
    3. Have fun

    You can punch your sister in the head if both of you agree to convince me it was respectful. You can bicker endlessly, if you use a respectful tone of voice and use gentle language if you think that's fun...mostly because then I'll have no idea you're being monsters to each other and if I don't notice, I don't deal with it...

    A lot of sibling rivalry is nothing more than the everyday struggles based on 'I want my own way because its mine and I want it'... which they often need help negotiating with kindness and respect (because, it will surprise you, no one is born able to do that, it's learned). The rest of it is attention-seeking behavior, which indicates that one (or both) is in need of your attention and it would have worked out better if you'd noticed and dealt with that earlier...

    Expecting them to be respectful helps
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:41 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I say to them leave me alone unless there is blood. Haha. No I have no solution. :(
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:54 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Oh man, now I see what I'm in for. lol.
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 10:14 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I have a different approach. I tell my kiddos if they 'argue/bicker' than they must need work to do...so when I catch them doing it I assign them work such as cleaning up the yard, sweeping/mopping the floor, wiping out the fridge, etc. They are age-appropriate tasks, but NOT easy tasks. They have pretty much learned to settle things by talking in normal, respectful tones. This works for the 11, 9, 8, 7, 6. I have to do it differently with the younger two which are 4 and 3...it takes a lot of teaching and consistency! =)
    7blessings

    Answer by 7blessings at 12:08 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

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