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5 Bumps

How do I stop being insecure?

I am very insecure and it causes problems in a lot of aspects of my life. I want to stop and I want to love myself and trust that those around me love me too, but I just don't know how.

I'm insecure about my body. I'm 5'1 and 126 Lbs, but I'm VERY jiggly, nothing on my body is firm. I'm a smoker, so running or jogging is hard to do.

I'm insecure about my sexual skills, I don't feel like I please my SO

I'm insecure about the fact that i'm insecure and needy and it affects my relationship

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Aug. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Have you tried counsleing?? usually its not a quick fix type of situations and there are usually reasons you've become this way - good luck honey!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:32 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Great question and i feel the same way, wish i could help ya out.

    Answer by Lisa_Lynn at 12:33 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I hear ya there. I always feel that way too. When Im out with my SO and he sees another gal that I might get pissed about him checking out cuz she is a slutty dresser...He comments on her as if he wants her. I know he is kidding, but I am from a rough past of cheaters and I dont like his jokes. Makes me feel like not eating for a year and doing sit ups till I puke. I want to be the object of his lust and desires also, but I always wonder if he is telling me the truth that I am to him.

    Answer by silvergecko264 at 12:35 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • You are so normal. I'm jiggly too, I'm insecure, I feel like an idiot because I can't figure out how to "be on top" sexually TMI sorry!, I feel like I need my husband much more than I want him to know. The list goes on. How do I deal with it? I'm just honest. I share my insecurities with him and he puts me at ease. I also recognize the positive parts of me. I'm funny and smart and a good photographer. You just need to accept all the different parts of you and also realize that the people in your life, esp. your hubby, love you "as is".

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:41 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I think you should try positive self talk. Write down some positive things about you, and some things you can say. When you are feeling bad about something grab your list and repeat the sentence a few hundred times!! Example: if you are feeling bad you could repeat I am a good person! over and over! after a while of doing this you will start thinking more positvely about yourself! People genrally are hard on themselves and put themselves down, but if you can change your thinking it would help you out alot!

    Answer by Tazz2299 at 12:42 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I had my moments of being insecure as well, in highschool, and thats because I did not know who God made me to be. I don't know where you stand with your beliefs, but I am a Christian. I was very broken and insecure, especially during highschool. Slowly I started learning who God was, and then I started learning about HIS love for me, and then I started learning who He made me to be and understanding that my value and worth through Him. Several things that really helped me was doing a bible study called "breaking Free" from Beth Moore and reading a book called "Captivating" (forgot the author's name at the moment)
    Here are some bible verses: Psalm 139, Isaiah 61

    Answer by Precious333 at 12:43 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • it all starts within yourself. if you are insecure about something CHANGE it for the better, dont just sit there and do nothing. youre not good at running- find some other types of work outs to do also you can start with a brisk walk you dont have to start off running marathons. youre insecure about your sex skills let your so know how you feel and go from there. read books that show you new moves, practice on the things you feel insecure on, ask your so what he would like you to do more. get some self esteem and a hobby or two. take time out to do something that would make you proud of yourself. stop throwing pity parties and take the steps needed to help fix the things you dont like.

    Answer by 3xangel at 12:53 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Everyone has some type of insecurities about themselves so you are not alone. However you can help yourself by experiencing success. It’s important to seek out situations where you are likely to succeed. Secondly, talk to yourself in a positive manner and focus on your strenghts. Regardless as to how low our self esteem may be, we all have some strengths within us. Last but not least begin going outside your comfort zone. If you have been setting mini-goals, using positive affirmations to encourage yourself, building your strengths, and developing your weaknesses. It’s time to take a risk to better your life. Taking chances is essential for personal-growth. If you never get outside your comfort zone you are doomed to stay stagnant forever.

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:58 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • What about taking a karate class? Fight through some of those negative emotions all while gaining the self confidence you want and deserve. :)

    You sound so petite and would be a shame to waste. Good luck! And remember an innumerable amount of people LOVE YOU!


    Answer by chupachyps at 1:02 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • counseling. would it help for you to realize that you don't need a man in your life that he should just be an extension there of. we all have our insecurities but you have to work at changing how you view yourself and stop it. recognize it. my therapist told me it wasn't important that i develope male relationships that the only man that mattered was god. he loves me for me and accepts me completely. knowing this has made me feel better about myself and i married shortly after. men wasn't my happy factor but me realizing that i have to love myself and not care if no man does. good luck. find a good therapist.

    Answer by melody77 at 1:10 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

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