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2 Bumps

Why do I feel so bad?

MIL and my dh and I had a falling out. We're not moving there and that was already decided lastnight. So, he called to let his mom know, and basically were told to stay the f*** away from the house and her bla bla bla, i'm releived I don't have to see or deal with her. But why do i feel so bad about the final event!?

Answer Question
 
kbishop8688

Asked by kbishop8688 at 3:45 PM on Aug. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,730 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Because maybe you feel that it was partly your fault that DH and her cannot get along? Or, that you would much rather get along with family than fight and be hateful with each other?

    Not saying you weren't in the right but that's the way life is.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 3:49 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I think it's just difficult to have a loved one upset with you, even if there was no wrong-doing on your part.
    Biz1985

    Answer by Biz1985 at 3:50 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Even though you are relieved maybe for not having to move there, maybe you feel bad about the reasoning. That things ended soo badly in the end instead of ending on a peaceful note. Possibly.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:53 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • maybe cause you feel at fault about it.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:54 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I don't think i'd consider her a loved one, more like just an in law that i've tried to get along with and lay down on the floor willingly so she can walk all over me and my family. I have tried getting them together, tried getting along, tried being the mediator and the person that will understand both sides. But, it's tiring, and i'm sick of being that person.. In truth they never got a long for more than 5 minutes at a time!
    kbishop8688

    Comment by kbishop8688 (original poster) at 3:54 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I'd have felt bad too...just because I don't like conflict and would have wished there was something I could have done to prevent it to coming to that.
    But its not your fault and you need to let the guilt go.
    She won't stay mad for forever..and if she does..well..its her loss.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:54 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Hey Girl :) I think maybe you're feeling bad 'cause you know what it could be like between you guys and her. Maybe you wish she was different and could be that MIL you hoped she was. Kinda mourning the loss of the way it could have been if you guys got along...? Sometimes we can get mad when things turn out different than we thought or than we think it should be, the disapointment can either make us sad or mad. I know I feel that way about some people in my life....the trick is to let go of anger/disapointment over things we can't do anything about anyway. ~ Hope you feel better soon~
    Nynne

    Answer by Nynne at 4:32 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Just let time take its place and you will be alright
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 5:01 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • because she's obviously reacting to having her feelings hurt... but just know that the decision you made is what is best for you and dh... you must make decisions based on that instead of pleasing others. it'll be okay.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 5:48 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

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