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I need advise on how to save my relationship with my 3 yr old...

My little girl is three and a half years old. She is completely out of control, and I'm losing my patience. She talks back, she screams at the top of her lungs if she doesn't get her way, she lies and disobeys. I am not a fan of spanking, but I don't know how else to get through to her. Now that I think of it, she doesn't respond to ANY punishment I've tried. I feel like I'm rambling, but I'm desperate. I have lost my temper more than once and yelled at her inappropriately. My husband is not a lot of help. He works out of the home, and will follow my lead, but leaves most of the child rearing to me. It's getting to the point where I don't even want to be around her, and that's what scares me most. Bottom line: I am looking for ways to 1) control my daughter and 2) control myself. I know that if I don't get this in check now, it will only get worse.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on Oct. 9, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (9)
  • Ok where do you live I am having nanny 911 come rescue you - lol, but seriously have you ever watche that show? They give great tips on there on how to get your kids under control, we are starting with our son and I admit I was a skeptic, but it truly does work!

    Answer by Married2theBest at 7:30 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • You should let your husband know that the two of you need to form an alliance together so that your daughter knows that the both of you are a united front - meaning whatever the rules/discipline are, they're coming from mommy AND daddy. Sounds like she does not have proper respect for you. In order to instill respect, you must be firm and consistent with whatever method works. Maybe a behavior chart will help? Here's a good place to look:

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • are you doing a lot of active things with her? Like arts and crafts and that sort of thing? I know it really helps when my daughter is getting to the point where it could turn bad and I redirect her energy. Also do some research on red dye number 40 it's in a lot of foods and has been known to cause behavior problems in children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • My daughter is around the same age and well, when she throws her temper tantrums she gets put in her room until she calms down and is quiet.... She can kick, scream, throw stuff(like her pillow-nothing dangerous in her room!) and hit the door....... But, she will not be allowed out until she is calmed down...... And while she is doing that I"m usually praying that she quites asap, so I don't have to be the "Big meanie" and do this-but its the best for both of us! And when I have 2 other children to deal w/all at the same time-she knows better than to be like that! The tantrums have become less and less-but there are still days where I want to run away!!!

    Answer by MR777 at 10:27 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • I feel your pain. I am going throught this with my son who was 3 in august. I have never seen a child get so pissed off and scream the way he does. We have tried everything from kissing his butt to spanking it...nothing seems to help. I have a doctors apt for him next week and I am going to ask her what I should do and ask her to rule out food alergies he may have. I am at my wits end. I know this did not answer your question but at least I can tell you you are not alone.

    Answer by salexander at 10:49 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • I have the same problem with my son. (when I look at him sometimes I completely understand child abuse) I have tried all of the above tactics. sometimes they work sometimes not. the book 'Parenting the Strong-Willed Child' by Dr. Dobson helped a lot. It was a lot of work and I didn't agree with every little thing he said in the book but I tried it and It has worked so far. My son and I both have a ways to go but we are getting there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • um... Child boot camp?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • Wow I thought I was the only one in this sittuation, I feel the same way! sometimes i don't even want to be around mine either. there are times where i will yell too and after I just come to tears cause that's not the kind of mother i want to be. But she just is out of control. I am constantly thinking how have i let this spiral out of control. Most of the time i do not know how to fix the problem. I keep trying, my daughter is fixing to turn three in november. well anyway I just wanted to say don't give up and hang in there. Please feel free any time to talk my page is christina200107. thanks for letting me share.

    Answer by christina200107 at 6:05 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Glad to know I'm not the only one who can't stand my own child at times! My DD is 4 1/2 and I sware she turns her brain off at times! She will stare at me with such a blank stare when asked to do something she doesn't want to do even though I know she knows what I'm asking! I know her attitude has improved a bit since DH and I have stopped fighting all the time. Also been some improvement since DH stopped yelling at the kids. Long way to go, but there is starting to be a lil bit of improvement. Just being consistent and sticking to my guns. If I get too worked up, I'm trying to remove myself and take a breather.

    Answer by mom2tasianic at 12:19 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

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