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Overweight 12 year old...

I have quite a young sister, as she's only 12. She is quite overweight, I don't think she quite reaches the obese category, but is significantly overweight nonetheless. I have been concerned over this in the past, and have tried to talk to my mother about possibly cutting down her portions at dinner or her desserts etc. However, recently my mother seems to have taken it to a whole new level and is telling my sister that she needs to cut down on her food and lose weight, even offering her a present if she reaches a set weight. I just think this may be a little over the top, and may give her confidence issues? She seems to think she's unattractive and fat and I don't think that's right.

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SarahBel

Asked by SarahBel at 8:29 PM on Aug. 26, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 11 (546 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • That's just sad. I would be surprised if it doesn't give her permanent self esteem issues, and sometimes things like this can lead to eating disorders.

    My mom was a real winner and had my sister and I convinced we were "fat" when I was about a size six, my older sister was a 2 or 4 (I forget). I'm not sure the extent of the lasting issues my sister's got, but I've had a lot of issues with food. It's only really been in the past few years that I've been able to be realistic about food. And I don't realistically think I'll ever manage to gain a realistic self esteem and self image. Good luck to you and your sister.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • I am dealing witha similar issue with my daughter, just turned 12. How do you balance concern for their health with not wanting to damage their self-esteem, especially sine they're hitting puberty and are already self- conscious? Sigh... I try to get her to exercise with me, or try to do something she likes, like tennis, bike riding.. Sometimes you just have to cut down the portions without making a big deal out of it. Cutting remarks don't help in any situation. I really hope things work out for you and your sister, and my daughter too!
    69humblepie

    Answer by 69humblepie at 9:11 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • My daughter just turned 13 and is a little over weight. I keep junk food out of the house. For example graham crackers rather than cookies. Her weight tends to fluctuate depending on the amount of excercise she gets. The best thing to do is lead by example.
    jcm62497

    Answer by jcm62497 at 11:52 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • What about not saying anything at all? Non food rewards, removal of a lot of junk food in the house, encouraging activity, and living by example (eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep) may guide the kids toward these good habits w/o bruising self-esteem. (And it gets parents healthy in the long run too!)
    geminilove

    Answer by geminilove at 5:05 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Moderation,Portion control,exercise, have dinner at lunch time and lunch at dinner,cut back on the sweets, do it as a family i used to weigh 270 pounds at the time my 12 yr son told me i could not keep up with him anymore so for me my 12 yr helped me we rode our bikes together and power walked now that hes a man i dont see him much but i have kept my weight off and when he does come around we work out together he says i have a good right arm for football lmao!!
    pyrofyterwife

    Answer by pyrofyterwife at 4:09 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

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