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I want to buy a new puppy...my husband refuses to "let" me...i resent him very much for this...what can i do?

i work for a vet, the puppy is free, all shots and altering will be at no cost, i will be the only one taking care of her. i had two dogs for 2 years. i loved it! they kept each other company, and they brought me so much joy. my 7 year old lab died suddenly 2 months ago (very advanced bone cancer) and now my 2 year old dachshund is ready for a sibling. its what i love, i love animals. my husband will not even talk to me without screaming at me about how he feels and that he thinks that i am being unreasonable. i resent him so much right now, i feel like he doesnt care about my happiness and i will say it again, i resent him, big time! i am supposed to be picking up the new puppy this weekend, and he wont even discuss my feelings. what should i do? i feel like this is the beginning of a terrible marital problem. we have been married for 24 years! we have three grown children. any advice would be appreciated

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seanesc5

Asked by seanesc5 at 7:53 PM on Oct. 9, 2008 in Pets

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Wow. Could you maybe tell him you have made a commitment and ask him to give it a shot. Tell him if it doesn't work out you will have to find the dog a new home, but you can't go back on your word? What is he trying to tell you when he screams at you, what are his feelings? Maybe once the dog is there he will adjust. Does he really dislike animals that much? I have 4 dogs and a cat. My husband is not a pet person at all, but he just happened to see the last two during an adoption drive when we were at the pet store and wouldn't leave without them. Imagine that. Good luck.

    chickadee8654

    Answer by chickadee8654 at 8:07 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • My husband & I've been married for 10 yrs he never refuse's me to do anything I'm my own person if I 'm the one taking care of the animal then why would he refuse you to get the dog I have 3 dogs 2 indoor 1 out and 2 cats indoors my husband works nights and we have 3 girls and they love the company me to. My hausband will tell me what I want its fine no I'm not a brat or spoiled he just knows I get lonely & i grew up with lots of animals its great you want to adopt the animal . I've adopted all of mine from the shellter. Good Luck stand up for what you want get your feeling out...
    mjc3

    Answer by mjc3 at 8:13 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I would say there is something much deeper going on here. He won't even discuss this with you without screaming?? That's not normal, I suggest counseling.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 8:15 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • My husband has learned to never tell me that I can't do something. I will ask his opinion but never his permission. If it were me, I would get the puppy. But that's just me.
    amydh

    Answer by amydh at 8:16 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • your husband sounds kinda like mine..he's like that w me on some topics..i would ask him what is a good time for a calm adult conversation.. if that doesn't work..write him a letter or email so he HAS to read what you are saying and doesn't have the chance to yell at you..ive done that a few times..but i think its crap he wont even talk about it..i would stand my ground and no matter what, dont lose it so he will look like the bigger ass and see that you are being the calm one. if you've already told the people you'd take the dog, ask a friend to hold onto the pup until you can talk with your husband..if it doesnt work out, well you know you'll have to find it a home.
    tnteaton

    Answer by tnteaton at 1:36 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • You can do what I would do just bring home a puppy and tell him to deal with it. Lol! I know I'm so evil!
    raybell

    Answer by raybell at 1:38 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • How have you handeled your husband when he was overbearing controlling and unreasonable other times during your 24yr marriage? If you get the puppy he'll be angry man walkin around and cold actting? Is it worth it? You have one dog it is a compromise if he doesn't want any animals be satisfied with the one to keep peace. Or you may be only fixin dinner at night for your dogs.
    tellis

    Answer by tellis at 8:46 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • i really resent him, i need some guidance please................ can anyone help me!! i feel like i am going to blow up and just say and do things that i will be sorry for. i am sooooooooooooooooo pissed off right now
    seanesc5

    Answer by seanesc5 at 6:49 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • Personally, I'd bring the puppy home anyways. When he starts hollering tell him you had made the commitment and were NOT going to back out of it because he decides you can't have another dog when you've had 2 for years! Why does it have to be different now? it doesn't.
    JMO
    Looking2Adopt1

    Answer by Looking2Adopt1 at 11:03 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • what you need to do is get down to the bottom why he is soooo pissed off about you getting another dog. and i know how the yelling goes..but at one point or another he'll have to sit and calmly talk..try a moderator between the 2 of you if the topic is so bad. someone who is neutral between the 2 of you.
    tnteaton

    Answer by tnteaton at 12:18 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

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