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Dealing w a player baby dad...

My x broke up w me a couple weeks ago. We haven't talked since. I'm almost 8 mos preg...I'm getting better emotionally everyday - w my bad days occasionally - but I don't look forward to dealing w him during delivery (if he shows up) and beyond. He's a players, womanizer...IDK how I'm going to handle it. He has been interested in the pregnancy from the beginning and has since let me know he'll be involvd, but of course, I'll have to see it to believe it. If you've ever HAD to deal w someone who is selfish or a womanizer, how do you do it? How does it work for you?

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nappeal

Asked by nappeal at 9:37 PM on Aug. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,369 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I have, and seriously its best if you just move on and not expect much from him. Even though i tried , tried and tried...he still didnt change..i mean if he really cared he would be there everyday for you especially since your pregnant. This is from experience, i learned the hard way.
    youngmm

    Answer by youngmm at 9:41 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • You dont have to deal with him during your delivery. Tell the nurses you'd rather he wasnt in there and they will make it so. At 44 I learned along time ago that I dont deal with womenizers or selfish people. See you have the choice to do that or not...........
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 9:42 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • So this i what I can say to you , one good thing for getting out of a bad situation , I am still in mine but two just because he is a womanzier and is the way he is in that aspect of his life does not have anything to do with the type of father he is . You havw to seperate the two sweetie because they are totally different life situations . I have been in a really crappy relationship for 8 years , he sucks when it comes to me but he is one hell of a father so try to keep that in mind hun !
    mamahol

    Answer by mamahol at 9:42 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Yes I've dealt. Best senario is LET GO... don't go back... I did and now I have 2 kids... which are a blessing but ....
    Let him be a part as he wants and you take it day by day slowly. Gather your support around you, your family and friends and have THEM be your shoulder to lean on...
    Be distant, its esp. hard at the beg. if they come around and act like a dad ... easy to fall back into the relationship but remember a true dad and partner is someone who stands by you ALWAYS, where YOU are the ONLY one, and who is there not just for the fun but also for the hard and who SUPPORTS his family -- with money, love, bringing in good vibes, laughter, etc.
    Be strong... YOU CAN do this.
    I left him for good b/f we even knew dd was coming... and its been a blessing... he does what he does, he calls, they see him as a father but ... I just don't expect much and that way am not disappointed.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 9:46 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • A part of me would LIKE things to work, but the reality is that it never will. He is who he is and its not who I want in a partner. I'm slowly coming to peace w that. I do not expect any kind of personal, romantic relationship w him...I'm giving up on that, BUT, I want him involved w the baby like he's made clear. Ever since we found out I was preg, he's always said 'no matter what happens w us, I'll always be there for you and the baby'. I will NEVER bet any amount of money that he'll keep his word tho. I'm angry tho w the fact that things ended and how they did, so thinking about having to deal w him AFTER baby is what makes me cringe. I'm sure sure how I'm going to be able to deal w him if he IS involved.
    nappeal

    Comment by nappeal (original poster) at 9:59 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • Dealt with it and heres my honest answer..

    LET HIS SCHEMEING ASS GO. take him to court and get child support and visitation worked out. DO NOT let him Decide how or when hes going to see the baby or anything. Don't expect him to be anything cause men like that rarely are...and I would suggest not letting him in with you when u are giving birth and in labor, because hes just gonna cause more stress than anything.Let the Doctors and hospital staff know when u go in that hes not allowed in there with u.

    If he wants to be a dad to the child he can be..without draggin u threw the emotional termoil that is a relationship with him. Provide him the oppurtunites to be present his childs life without expecting that he'll follow threw..

    My sons father isnt a womanzier but hes a runaway..he says one thing and then disappears. I hope u have a healthy and happy delivery and congrats!!
    SweetPoison

    Answer by SweetPoison at 10:02 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • You just have to suck it up and deal with it..take a deep breath and let it go..

    My fiance has to deal with his crazy ex wife because they have two kids together..and let me tell you dealing with that woman even for 10 minutes is like cimbing mt. everest. its difficult..and its emotionally draining.. but u cannot change how it ended. You have to let urself have peace with the fact that its over and move on. Deal with it now..before the babys born..
    SweetPoison

    Answer by SweetPoison at 10:04 PM on Aug. 26, 2010

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