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how do i teach him a lesson?

my hubby makes me soo mad that sometimes i feel like actually pack and leave. we have a good marriage but my biggest problem is tat my DH has anger management issue, we can be having a good day, just talking and if i happen to say something that he did not like, he will snap and make it a huge thing, the munite he snaps at me, it makes me sooo mad and this leads to an argument. the worst part is, after our urgiment, we dont talk to each other for a while, and i always end up talking to him, but if i dont talk first, this man can play this silence game for days. this is the most annoying behavior, he doent care if we have compony or not, he still wont talk to me!! now we had an urgument yesterday and we havent talked to each other yet,we have our niece over at our place and she notices that we arent speaking. i wanna show him and make sure that he understands that i REALLY mean it that this behavior is not acceptable.

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ashley387

Asked by ashley387 at 12:44 AM on Aug. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (209 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • This is not how people in a good marriage behave.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:48 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Teaching him a lesson? I guarrantee you won't teach him anything. You will just piss him off more. Just let him do what he's gonna do and you move on and do your thing without attempting to have the last word or control the situation. You can't control anything he says, or does or feels. He'll come around. If he tries to argue, don't engage, that will show him you aren't accepting it.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:49 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I agree don't engage.Though that can be easier said than done!
    EyeofOdin

    Answer by EyeofOdin at 12:55 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • ok ladies- wake up from fairy tale land. Teach him a lesson- I don't know you're whole situation, but just take off. Go shopping, go out for dinner alone, go see a friend- just leave, stay gone for a few hours.....eventually it will eat at him and he will want to know where you are taking off to. If he doesn't, then you should talk about your place in the marraige. You can't fix it every time he wants to act like a baby. Communication is key to making a marraige work. I'm only 5 yrs in and we've turned fighting like crazy people into a short arguement followed by this is the problem, this is the solution, and here's your share of how to fix it. Things work smoothly now for the most part. When MEN behave like children, you must treat them like children. Not all of us marry Mr. Fantasy Land Husband, so go on and teach him a lesson he'll never forget! :P
    KariLyn84

    Answer by KariLyn84 at 12:56 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I'VE BEEN WITH MY MAN FOR 15 YRS AND I GO THROUGH THE SAME THING. THE NEXT TIME YOU TWO HAVE A FIGHT PLAY HIS GAME. WE HAVE FOUGHT OVER THE MARRIAGE SUBJECT FOR YEARS MY POSITION USED TO BE POSITIVE HIS WAS ALWAYS NEGATIVE. NOW THAT HE WANTS TO MARRY ME I BRING UP EVERYTHING THAT WAS SAID BEFORE ABOUT MARRIAGE AND THAT EATS HIM UP. YOU SEE YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH YOURSELF. TRY IT I GUARANTEE HE'LL WALK AWAY MAD AS HELL
    roxannschild

    Answer by roxannschild at 1:09 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • why are you yelling? lol
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:11 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I found that because we had this pattern of arguing, both of us would "anticipate the argument" and lash out and take things much worse than they actually were. Patterns of behavior are just that, patterns. The more we reinforce them either positive or negative, the more they hold up. By engaging in the argument, you have been "baited" or "played". Discuss (calmly when it is NOT an argument) the behavior that is most troubling (dont dump and unload everything, that will overwhelm him and lead to a defense mechanism). Discuss options for handling each other when things go sideways.

    For example, when my DH starts a childish rant on the phone, he knows I will hang up rather than start to argue back, or tell him "when you are ready to discuss this calmly, please call me back". He will then call back and I ask him if he is in a better frame of mind to continue. He has the same permission.
    WyndenSkie

    Answer by WyndenSkie at 2:04 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • you wont teach him anything. let him stew. hes trying to contol u. my soon to be ex son-inlaw does that to my daughter whether whose right. just ignore him. if he sees he cant win, eventually he will talk.
    stressedoutgran

    Answer by stressedoutgran at 8:07 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • You won't teach him anything by not speaking to him - I know from experience. When I was with my ex husband I finally got sick of this kind of treatment, and I decided I would not speak first. It was almost a MONTH of not speaking. I had two young children,a job, and a house to take care of - it was insane. I left him about 3 months after that. If he won't communicate with you, respect you enough to have a disagreement, and love you enough to want to work with you to make things better - leave.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 8:24 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • @ scuba, thats exactly what i think, if his ego is bigger than his respect for me and his love for me, then he sure dont deserve me! i would like to give a try before leaving though, what makes me soo mad os the fact that he does this often and when he is not talking to me, it hurts like crazy, he goes to bed without saying goodnight, he is at work and not calling to see how i and the baby are doing( which he does otherwise when he is talking to me) i always wonder, what is it that stops him when he is about to call?
    if i let him until he is ready to talk, he will just apologise and everything will go back to normal, untill the next time he feels like snaping and giving me the silence treat, well for how long am i gonna tolarate this kind of behaviour? would u leave ur hubby for this reason??
    ashley387

    Comment by ashley387 (original poster) at 6:05 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

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