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My 3 yr old won't stop whining....

My 3 1/2 yr old son will not stop whining! Everything I ask him to do is met with whining. He pretends to cry...no tears but plenty of loud fake sobbing interupted by short bursts of laughter. He knows it gets to me and when I get upset after I've asked him to do something 20 times (and no, that's not an exaggeration) and finally decide to try time out...again, unsuccessfully, he laughs at me. I've tried spanking, I've tried time outs, I've tried a little pat with a switch...I cannot do this anymore. What can I do? Now my 18 month old daughter is saying no and doing the same things that he's doing. I am at my wit's end. Anyone got any suggestions?

Answer Question
 
lorihadams

Asked by lorihadams at 9:20 PM on Oct. 9, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Smacking them isn't gonna do ya any good. In fact it is most likely gonna make it worse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • First, don't ask more than twice. Some say once. When you keep repeating, you teach him that he doesn't have to listen to anything you say.

    Pick one method and stick with it. If you want to use time-outs, always use them. If you want to use a quick swat on the butt, always use it. When you switch back and forth, you teach him that the rules and consequences are always changing.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:13 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • If you ask him to come to you and he refuses, go get him and punish him. Firmly pick him up, swat his butt or firmly put him in time out - whatever you decided to use. If you use time-out, make sure you use it right: excpet for keeping him there, you ignore him and the clock doesn't start ticking until he is sitting calmly. Do not use his room - use a boring corner or the middle of a boring room (I use the kitchen). Do not ask him to calm down, do not tell him what he did wrong. Do not talk to him or look at him. When time out is over, calmly tell him what was wrong and what he should have done. Use no more than 3 short, simple sentences.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:13 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • When I hear that whining voice I say "I can't understand you when you talk like that. What do you want?" Until they quit the whining, I don't acknowledge any request. If I've told them to do something and they whine I make them do it and act like I can't understand the whiny voice. It makes them stop quicker than anything else I've tried. My whiners peaked at about 4 1/2 and tapered off. Good luck.
    shmorris56

    Answer by shmorris56 at 1:15 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • EVERY SINGLE TIME he whines, respond, "I'm sorry, I don't understand you when you whine" and do not do whatever it is he wants 'til he asks you in a normal voice.

    We had to do this with my oldest stepbaby when he was 3 and it worked like a charm! If he regresses, just say "I'm sorry, I don't understand you when you whine." :)
    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 1:16 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

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